We went on talking plans for a while and letting different visions of the future flit through the air. We talked about the vacations we would take, the places and songs and books we would want to share. We gave our fears space, although not as much space as we gave our dreams, until we finally had to admit it was time to get back to work.
Grayson carried a couple of small cardboard boxes and shoeboxes out from the bedroom, depositing them in a pile by the couch. He paused for a minute, trailing his fingers across the lid of one shoebox.
“What’s that?” Demir asked, stepping behind him and placing a hand on his back.
Grayson shook his head, then pressed his hand down on the box. “Just some old photos.”
I joined them, and silence stretched through the room. I heard Grayson’s breath catch, and then he shook his head. “Actually, can I show you something?” he asked, his voice steady and clear.
“Sure, sweetheart,” I answered. “Anything.”
Grayson opened the box, then pulled out an unsealed white envelope. “Mom and me” was written on the outside, and when he turned it upside down, a few aged photos fell into his hand.
He held one photo in the air. At his side, Demir and I both looked on, taking in the image while he talked. “This is me and my mom at the Mammoth Caves in Kentucky. She hated that I wanted to go there, but she took me anyway.”
I leaned closer, peering at the image. A much, much younger version of Grayson had a big smile on his face, but you could tell from his eyes that he was still weighed down with sadness. His mom had on a pair of jeans and a red blouse, and her hair was teased into curls. Grayson both looked like himself and didn’t at the same time, which I guess was true of all childhood pictures, although in this instance, I definitely wanted to grab the kid in my arms and give him a big hug.
“Did the two of you go on vacation together very often?” Demir asked
“No,” Grayson answered. “Really just to the caves.”
His hand started to tremble, and at the same time, Demir and I put our arms around him. He steadied himself for a minute, then turned through a few more pictures, explaining where they were set and what the picture meant to him and his mom.
In most of the photographs, Grayson had a fake smile on. But without exception, he eyes always told the true story.
You’re in there, sweetheart,I thought.I see you.
“Thank you for sharing these,” Demir said when he was finished.
Grayson nodded, returning the photos to the box. “I’m glad I did,” he said quietly.
“And hey,” I added, taking his hand. “Any kid we have is going to have a much happier life. There will be no shortage of love in our house.”
Grayson nodded a few more times, then took in a deep sigh. “Okay,” he said. “Back to packing?”
