Eventually, we drifted and started to talk about the city and our favorite dance songs. The waitress checked back in, and on Marco’s insistence, we ordered a large strawberry sundae with three spoons. The afternoon had slipped by without me even realizing it, evidenced by all the empty plates and glasses on the table. I watched a strap of the overalls fall to Marco’s side and then smiled when Demir leaned over to lift it and patted Marco’s shoulder once it was in place.
Yearning tugged at my heart. I felt the desire to be each of them at once, to gently adjust Marco’s necklace when it hung lopsided and to let Demir place his hand on the small of my back again, guiding me with him.
Demir kept his hand on Marco’s shoulder, and Marco nuzzled his cheek down for the briefest moment, as though to say hi. Need and pleasure flared at my base, and my fingers curled into my palms.
Why do I trust them?I wondered.Do I just want to believe they could be mine too much? Am I fooling myself?
But I did trust them. They listened to me, and they cared for each other, and when we were together, I felt myself relax in a way I rarely did with other people.
I felt like me.
“What’s new at the club?” I asked, as we finished off the ice cream. “Are you still planning the new construction?”
Demir and Marco shared a look I couldn’t gauge, and then Marco fluttered his eyelashes with a laugh. “Oh, we’re always working on something. Right now it’s up to me to decide whether or not we’re going ahead with the project. Which I am supposed to decide by…” He held his wrist up, as though the silver chain bracelet that dangled there were a watch. “Oh… tomorrow, I guess.”
Demir chuckled and tossed his spoon on the plate. “I’m always the one bullheaded enough to charge through with a plan right away,” he explained. “Marco’s smart enough to think things through.”
I nodded with a smile. “I used to be like you, Demir, but now I’m probably more like Marco.”
“Good man,” he said, and I sat up a little straighter in the chair.
“I can understand how that’s a big project,” I said. “Must be lots of money tied up in it, too. I’m familiar with how even a small business can require a large overhead.”
“It is,” Demir conceded. “It’s funny. When we bought the building and opened the business in the first place, I remember thinking that I would never spend money like that again in my life. But it’s taken a lot of investment to keep the business growing.”
“I’m glad you had that money to start with,” I said, then snapped my mouth shut. I remembered that Demir had inherited the money and realized it might not be a pleasant conversation.
“Yes,” Demir said, wiping his hands on his napkin. “My family didn’t approve of my sexuality, but whether it was intentional or not, I was still left in the will.” He didn’t seem fazed by talking about it, but still, I could see a shadow of hurt in his eyes.
“My family doesn’t talk to me anymore, either,” I said. Without really thinking about it, I reached out and clasped Demir’s shoulder across the table. “I’m sorry that you won’t have the chance to reconcile with yours.”
Demir nodded. “Thanks.” He extended his arm, holding my bicep for a moment. When we released each other, we sat very briefly in a shared, respectful silence.
“Regardless of whether we build or not,” Marco concluded, “I think Demir should be very proud of how he’s managed the inheritance.”
With Marco gracefully returning us to a few quick laughs, we settled the bill. The guys let me pay with very minimal argument, and when I picked up the check, I felt a thrill, like it made clear that we were together.
We exited the garden, and I became aware that an afternoon date did have some drawbacks. It just seemed much easier to get a kiss when the moon was out. I toed the pavement with my Converse and tried to think of what I wanted to say.
“We both took the evening off work,” Marco said brightly, catching me off guard. “Would you like to come back to our loft?”
