Chapter Twenty-Four
Clark
Ezra and Irving sat with me at my favorite café. The fluorescent light flickered above us, and the tile floors were old and chipped, but the milkshake and pie combination always drew me back.
They had their arms around each other’s shoulders, and Irving naturally leaned into Ezra. Ezra kept bobbing his head back and forth excitedly while he talked, and Irving ducked away every time, smiling pleasantly to himself while he did and then leaning back against his boyfriend.
They looked happy, not to mention adorable. Ezra had seemed like a happy guy before Irving and Brick came along, too, but whenever they were together, he soared to a new level.
“This is so cool!” Ezra said excitedly as he clasped his hands together. “Clark! One of my first experiences was with two other guys, too, and now look at me!”
I laughed, then laid my head on the table, pressing my cheek against the paper napkin. “Please don’t tell me you all are getting engaged next. I need a few minutes to breathe before something else changes.”
Irving giggled, then stroked the side of my head. “Don’t worry, Clark,” he said. “Sex and dating are always confusing.”
I laughed, then pulled my head up. The napkin stuck to my cheek until I tugged it off. “Is that supposed to help?”
Irving shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt, I suppose.”
The waiter appeared and slid three vanilla milkshakes and three slices of blueberry pie onto the table. The pie was steaming hot, and the shakes came in frosty glasses, just like I loved them.
“Some things don’t have to be confusing,” I said. “Pies and milkshakes never change.”
“How did it feel for you?” Irving asked. “Did you like hooking up with two guys?”
I swallowed, remembering how their hands felt on my skin and the sense of belonging that had washed over me. “Of course I did,” I said as a blush warmed my cheeks. “It felt like nothing I had ever imagined before.”
“And do you want to do it again?” Irving asked kindly.
“I do,” I said. “I think I’m just getting used to the idea. I was just starting to get a handle on dating Mars, after all. Whatever is happening now is way more intense.”
Ezra nodded. “I was lucky to have my moms. They knew some women who were in three-person relationships, so the idea wasn’t totally new to them. But most people have never met a triad.”
“Relationship,” I said, sighing. I picked up my fork, then pierced a bite of pie. “That might be the right word for you guys and Brick, but I still don’t know if it makes sense for us. I was supposed to be taking things slow and casual, you know? Not to mention Mars and Rip have been best friends for years, and they’re only just now admitting that they have feelings for each other.”
“Thanks to you,” Ezra pointed out.
I shoved the pie in my mouth and chewed slowly. If I did have something to do with them getting together, that felt good, almost like I had fixed something. But did fixing them mean there wasn’t going to be room for me? I wondered if I was just some weird blast from Rip’s past after all, someone he would leave in his dust one more time.
Another guy for Mars to flirt with.
“Maybe,” I said. Indecision weighed on my shoulders, and when I imagined Rip and Mars together, the achy need in my chest grew stronger. “Or maybe I’m just going to need another milkshake.”
My hand trailed to my side as Ezra and Irving chatted, and I felt the outline of my phone in my pocket. I thought again about pulling it out and calling Mars and bursting through the wall I had constructed in my mind. I could just ask him if Rip had talked to him, without necessarily giving anything anyway.
If I could just hear his voice, and maybe Rip’s voice, too...
With a sharp buzz, the phone vibrated in my pocket, startling me so much I nearly knocked over my milkshake. I pulled it out quickly, and when I saw the message, my heart fluttered in my chest.
I told him,Rip messaged.Can we meet up?
* * *
When I pulled up to the park, the guys were already there, sitting on the back of Mars’s truck. Mars looked like he was ready to talk. Leaning up against Rip, he was bouncing his hand against his knee and bobbing his head like he was excited. It was a look I’d only seen a few times, like when we got deep and geeky about one of his favoriteStar Trekepisodes or when he told me some story about living with Rip in Detroit.
It made me smile to myself. Mars could never hide his feelings, like he was programmed to show his hand before he meant to.
I guess the talk went well.
