I ran a hand through my hair, then leaned back against the counter. “Always,” I said. “Or maybe just since you told me. I’m not sure.”
Clark turned away from me and cast his eyes out the window. “He’s a playboy, though, right? Is that why you’re not boyfriends? Because you can both hook up with a guy like me, but you can’t really be together.” He turned, catching my eye again. “Can you?”
Before I could answer, Aunt Grace stepped out of her bedroom. She had her robe wrapped tightly over her nightgown and a warm smile on her face. “Good morning, boys.”
Clark wiped his hands on a napkin, then offered a handshake to Aunt Grace. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Clark.”
“Nice of you to join us for breakfast, Clark,” Aunt Grace said as she took her seat at the table. “I hear that you’ve been spending time with Rip and Mars lately.”
“Something like that,” Clark answered shyly.
“Well you must be pretty special,” Aunt Grace teased. “Those two haven’t introduced me to a single one of their friends, let alone invited someone over for breakfast.”
I laughed as I joined her at the table, sliding a cup of coffee and a plate of toast down. “It was a whim,” I explained. “But you’re right. I can’t keep hiding the coolest woman in Seattle. It’s selfish of me.”
Clark joined Aunt Grace at the table, and they got to chatting as they started into the scrambled eggs, toast, and sliced tomato. I stayed back, leaning against the divider that separated the kitchen from the dining room and sipping from my coffee as I watched them swap stories. The mornings had become my favorite time with Aunt Grace, and I usually treasured how precious it felt to share them with her, and to have a space where it was just the two of us, before the rest of the world woke.
Having Clark, there, however, made a different kind of warmth fill up my chest. Company like Clark offered, sweet and gentle, was good for Aunt Grace, and my chest puffed with pride that I had thought to introduce them to each other.
It was good for me, too, if I were being honest.
Soon enough, Aunt Grace was clearing the table, and Clark was washing his dishes in the sink. I watched as she retrieved her morning pills, swallowing them instead of waiting for me to dole them out, like we usually did. Clark kept joking with her while she went through her routine, either not noticing how many medicines she took or not thinking anything of it. By the time I realized it was getting close to work, the kitchen was cleaned, and Aunt Grace was already up and bustling about.
Clark and I said goodbye to her, and I walked him out to our cars, parked by each other on the road. The morning in Seattle was getting started properly, with joggers passing on the steep hill and vehicles rolling out of driveways. Even with his big green jacket zipped up, Clark still looked chilly in the crisp air.
I stepped forward and rubbed my hands on his shoulders. Immediately, his body loosened under my touch, and I felt the charge of the previous evening, like lightning at my fingertips.
“I’m glad you came over last night,” I said. “I didn’t know if you would trust me again.”
Clark nodded, then stepped into my embrace and pressed his face against my chest. “I want to trust you,” he said. “I think I do.”
I exhaled slowly and watched my breath turn to steam in the air. “Thank you.”
Clark looked up to me and blinked behind his glasses. “It helps that you introduced me to your aunt,” he said. “She’s great.”
“I had a feeling you’d like each other.”
“Just one other thing, though.”
I stepped back to see his face better, but kept my hands on his shoulders, not wanting to break the touch that connected us. “What is it?”
“I want to see you again,” Clark said. “You and Mars both. But you need to tell him.”
I let my eyes drift shut, and the truth washed over me. “I know,” I said. “I know I do.”
Clark nodded once more, then stepped back, pulling himself from my arms. He crossed to his car, gripping his keys in one hand, and turned to me.
“He loves you, too, you know,” Clark said. His voice sounded choked, like he was forcing it out, but he still held his back straight, projecting confidence toward me. “There’s no doubt about that.”
I thought of Mars up in bed, sleeping, and probably snoring with his arms sprawled wide. I thought of all the nights we’d fucked each other, grinding together across the country. I remembered his laugh, and the way he groaned when he stepped into the shower, and the look on his face when he was watching a scary movie.
“You know you’re special, Clark,” I said. “You’ve always been special to me.”
“I know,” he said softly. “That’s why I need you to figure this out.”
MARS
When I woke, there were two messages on my phone, one from Clark saying he had a good night and one from Rip saying he needed to talk that evening.
