Chapter Twenty-Eight
Maddox
In a leather apron, welding mask, and heavy gloves, I was dripping buckets of sweat. Even with the windows open and cool autumn air rushing through the workshop, I felt like I was about to overheat.
I finished guiding my MIG welder along the hunk of metal I was working, then threw back the protective mask to study my work. I had spent all morning welding gnarly scraps of steel together, but the sculpture just wasn’t coming together. Instead of a giant snake for my yard, it looked more like I had made a monstrous, misshapen worm.
I threw my gloves to the work bench, cursing under my breath. Of course I couldn’t concentrate. I was still too goddamn furious with myself.
Stepping outside into the cool air, I grabbed my cell phone and stepped into the part of the yard where I received reception. Not knowing who else could understand the trouble I was in, I punched a few numbers on the phone and swallowed my pride.
“Maddox?” Declan said, answering after a few rings. “How about that. You decide you want to take me up on the offer anyway?”
I barked out a laugh. “You don’t know the half of it. Are you busy? Can you chat?”
“Fuck, man, I never hear from you. There’s nothing going on in Vegas I can’t drop for a little catch-up. From your voice, though, it sounds like there might be something up. You in trouble?”
I tried to think of a way to explain. Declan wasn’t exactly the relationship type, and after we parted ways and ended our crime spree, I hadn’t known him to pursue anyone seriously.
“I messed up,” I said, kicking my boot against the grass. “I messed up big time, man.”
I heard a lighter flick, and Declan sucked on a cigarette. “Start from the top,” he said, blowing the smoke out slowly. “You in danger here?”
“No danger,” I said. “At least, not that I know of. But I did go back to Uncle Elmar’s place, like you talked about.”
“Twenty percent, man,” he said quickly. “That’s the finder fee you owe me for running that job.”
“It’s not like that,” I said, although the stack of money Gunner grabbed flashed back to mind. “I met a couple of younger guys, and one of them was getting scammed out of his apartment by my uncle. He was in a tough spot, and I wanted to help him out…”
“What did you do?”
“I failed him,” I said, my heart aching a little. “I failed him, man.”
With a deep breath of air, I launched into the story. I told him about the briefcase full of cocaine and cash and the foolish decision I had made to use someone as green as Gunner for my lookout. I told him about Malcolm, sucked up in the whole scheme despite himself. I even admitted that his offer from a month earlier had tempted me.
“I wanted to run that job again,” I said. “I could taste the money.”
“Fuck yeah, man,” he said. “Me, too.”
I kicked the dirt again, sending a little clump of grass flying. “Yeah, but I let that screw up my head. I put those guys in danger, Declan. I’m no better than my parents.”
“I haven’t heard you talk about anyone this way in years,” he said. “Is something more going on between you and these kids?”
“They’re boyfriends, or something like it,” I answered. “I hooked up with them a couple of times, but it’s not like that.”
“Not like what?” he pressed me.
“They’re fifteen years younger than me,” I said, trying to dismiss him. “They don’t need some old man getting in the middle of their relationship. And it turns out I’m no use to them as a role model anyway.”
“You’re really beating yourself up for this, Maddox. It’s not like they got shot or something. But then again, you’ve never been able to let shit like this go.”
“What does that mean?”
He laughed, his voice loud in the phone. “I’ve only seen you screw up a few jobs in your day, but every one of them was because you were thinking with your dick instead of your head.”
I clenched my jaw and started to protest. Maybe my dick was part of the equation, but it was my heart that was hurting now. Telling Declan that would just earn me another round of mocking, anyway. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“Don’t you remember that job we screwed up when we were nineteen? It was easy, just moving a couple ounces of weed, but somehow you ended up getting us chased across town by one very pissed-off slumlord and a cop who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
