But it was pretty easy to figure out that Irving and I weren’t compatible in the right way to be boyfriends. It was sexy to see him working his hand in his hole, his beautiful body contorting and glistening in my bed, and I did want to lick up every drop of sweat on his skin. But my desires and fantasies always focused on being dominated and topped and on having someone throw my body around in ways I knew Irving would never want to. If he felt the same way, romance would just be a dead-end street, as far as I could tell.
My calves always burned just from the short walk up the hill on our street. When I got to the bar, I took a deep breath, then pushed through the front door.
“I told you,” Lilith said the second she saw me, “he’s not here.”
I adjusted my glasses, then took a seat at the bar. “I know. I tracked him down.”
“You did?”
Lilith always had the same kind of tough, nail-spitting look on her face that Brick did, but I could tell she wasn’t as bad as she looked. For one, her hair was one of my favorite shades of green. For another, the couple of times I came in asking for Brick, she had actually laughed at my corny jokes, even though she was ordering me out of the bar, too.
“Can I have a beer?”
She smiled. “You care what kind?”
I thought about it for a second. “Not really.”
Lilith popped the top off a bottle, handing it to me. “So, where’d you track him down?”
I couldn’t tell what the edge was in her voice. Maybe she was sad that Brick left, or maybe she was just pissed she didn’t get proper warning to find a replacement. Either way, Brick had made it clear we shouldn’t tell anyone about where he was, and I understood that was a pretty important trust to keep. “Not too far away,” I said dismissively. “But he asked us to come in and grab his paycheck for him.”
“Now why would he…” Lilith cut herself off, drumming the table with her fingers. “He doesn’t feel safe coming back in here, does he?”
I shook my head. “Something about that guy who attacked him, I guess. But he did send along a couple messages for you.”
She cocked her eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. I took a sip of my beer, then frowned from the bitter taste. “He said to tell you that he’s sorry and thanks for yelling.”
“Thanks for yelling?” She thought about it for a second, then chuckled to herself. “Yeah, tell him I said no problem.”
“So that means you’ll hand off his paycheck?”
She rummaged behind the bar for a minute, then pulled out an envelope, tapping it on the counter. “He must be in a tight spot for cash if he sent you in for this. I could imagine a guy like Brick would just as soon leave town altogether and never look back.”
“Yeah, I was at his place. It doesn’t seem like he’s working with a ton of resources.”
Lilith grinned. “You were at his apartment, huh?”
I thought about the way she said it, then felt my cheeks burn up. “Not like that. Girl, trust me, if it were like that, this whole side of town would have heard about it.”
Lilith laughed, sliding the envelope to me. “I don’t doubt it. I’m not sure how well you know him, kid, but I hope you realize Brick is a pretty special guy. I’ve known a lot of his type, and most of them never look beyond their own noses. Brick might have his demons hounding him, but that man is always looking out for someone else. I’ve seen him stand up to more bullies and drunk pricks in this bar than anyone else, and he never even realizes he’s doing something admirable. He just does it because he sees it needs to be done.”
Whatever crush I had on Brick kicked up about twenty notches when she said that, my knees feeling all wobbly as they dangled off the stool. I held the cold beer bottle to the side of my neck. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”
She walked over to the cash register, pounding the button to send the drawer open, and grabbed a stack of bills from under the cash tray. She shoved the bills in the envelope, then slid it my way.
“Tell him I said good luck out there and let him know there’s always a home for him back here at the Steel Rose. He might come with trouble, but I know how to take care of myself, and the place is a lot nicer when he’s here watching over it.”
