Chapter Nineteen
Ezra
Irving was in his quiet mode again. I let him stay that way for a while, just humming to myself as we made our way through the trail behind my moms’ house. The hills and cliffs started getting pretty steep if you walked back far enough, but behind their place, it was still flat and easy to navigate, with maples and cottonwood trees growing as far as you could see.
After a while, I gave up on the silence and poked him in the arm. “You okay there?”
He blinked up at me. “Yeah, sorry.” His eyes looked tired, and his shoulders were slumped as we walked.
“Are you worried about what my moms said about Brick? I agree that we should try to track him down, but I don’t think it’s as bad as they make it out to be. A scratch on my face isn’t such a big deal.”
“It’s not that,” he sighed, stopping in his tracks. A few birds shot through the sky, and I grabbed the thermos for a drink of tea.
“What is it then?” I asked, sipping.
Irving took the thermos back from me. “I think I’m just a little depressed. Your family is so great and loving and supportive. I can’t even imagine how cool it must have been to grow up with gay parents. My dad couldn’t even bring himself to have a conversation with me, and my mom would literally flinch if someone said the word “gay” in the house. I know I had a lot of privileges, too, including the nest egg they gave me when I moved away from home, but I would still trade all that money to have a real family. Hell, I can’t even bring myself to touch the money without feeling depressed about it. Seeing your moms just reminded me of all that.”
I stepped forward, linking his arm in mine. “Sorry your parents suck eggs.”
Irving smiled. “Sorry to bring this all up when we’re having a nice time with your moms. I hope you know it’s nothing about them.”
I shrugged, then started us walking again, his arm still linked in mine. There was a clearing up ahead that usually had wildflowers, and I wanted to share them with him while we were there. “It’s not like it was always easy. Plenty of other people judged us, and my birth father’s family disappeared with the wind once my moms realized they were in love. But I get it—I’m really lucky.”
“Everyone should be really lucky.”
I skipped a little to speed us up, excited for the flowers. “Sometimes the things that seemed like they were the worst at the time ended up being the best memories. When I didn’t have a date to my high school prom, my moms insisted on taking me themselves. I was horrified at the time, but now it just makes me smile to remember the night. I’ll show you the prom photos when we get back in.”
He chuckled. “One time my dad forgot my name.”
I gasped. “He did not!”
“I swear to god. It only took him a minute to remember, and he tried to buy me a new video game to make up for it, but I’ll never forget the look on his face. Another time my mom accidentally scheduled herself on a weeklong vacation with her friends when it was my birthday.”
“That’s really bad,” I said, cringing.
“She didn’t cancel the trip either.”
“No wonder you look so grumpy half the time. And I think I’m beginning to understand why you were so devoted to your computer. I would need an outlet, too, if I grew up in a house like that.”
Irving cracked his fingers in front of him. “It’s funny. I used to just learn this hacking stuff for the hell of it, but I would never actually do anything. I thought I was passing time until I could move away from home and start a new life for myself. I’m not going to head down some dark path or anything, but it did feel really wild to look at that surveillance footage and to actually use those skills.”
“Do you think you’d be up for another round? Would it be possible to figure out where Brick is? Like track his credit card or find him with a spy satellite or something.”
“Oh whoa!” Irving stopped in his tracks. “Look at that.”
We had reached the field of wildflowers, and just like I remembered, they were in full bloom. They were splashes of purple and green across the grass, spangled with sunlight and the long shadows of the leafy trees.
I let go of Irving’s arm, spinning around. “It’s one of my favorite spots! I thought you’d like it.”
He bent down, plucking one of the tiny flowers from the grass, then placing it behind his ear. “Wow, it’s really beautiful.” Irving glanced around for a minute, taking in in the sight. After a moment, he shook his head, returning to the conversation. “Anyway, yeah, tracking down Brick isn’t hard.”
“It’s not?”
“I kind of looked up his address a couple days ago. I couldn’t fall asleep last night, and I wondered if I could find his address, and then like ten minutes later I had done it.”
I laughed. “That’s amazing! So what, we just go to his apartment?”
Irving shrugged, then linked his arm back with mine. “Only after we eat this lunch, though. If I came back without touching the sandwiches, I’m pretty sure your moms would never stop talking about it.”
