Chapter Ten
Irving
I stared into the rearview mirror, forcing a smile to my face and ignoring how strained and awkward it looked. “Hi, Ezra, it’s nice to see you today. Listen, I was just thinking about how lovely our afternoon together was, and I thought why not try for a sequel? What do you say, you and me, Friday night?”
I sighed, bouncing my head against the steering wheel. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
Twenty minutes of practice had gotten me nowhere, just like a solid two hours of watching Youtube videos on dating had given me very little helpful information. Most of the people I found online were either inconsiderate straight men, focused only on getting into women’s pants, or other nerdy guys like me who had no clue what they were talking about. The only consistent advice I could track down was to act confident, but how did a person pretend to be confident? You either were confident or you weren’t, and I wasn’t.
It had been a lot easier with Mario, my ex-boyfriend. I hadn’t had to ask him out on a date or convince him I was worth his time. We had met in one of my classes senior year of college and gotten to know each other in a study group, and our romance developed pretty naturally. One night, we were running through code together late in my apartment, and the next thing I knew, he had me on the couch, moaning his name and begging for things I hadn’t even realized I wanted.
Karis had warned me at the time that I was giving him my heart too easily and too quickly. She saw the way that I went from totally clueless classmate to devoted boyfriend, with rose-tinted goggles over my puppy eyes. Considering the fact that I had never dated anyone before, I guess I just didn’t have the skills to navigate the complexity of a relationship. When Mario was distant or distracted, I always decided it was my fault and that I needed to find ways to be more entertaining, sexy, and exciting. When he didn’t communicate clearly, I assumed it was because I had made some mistake and beat myself up about it for weeks. Flash forward to three years later, and I was still self-flagellating over every perceived infraction, while Mario was happily rolling around with my roommate.
Other people were just a mystery to me. Why would someone do something like that? He could have just broken up with me and moved on, that would have been fine. But I guess Mario saw a sucker he could play, and so he played me right into the ground.
There wasn’t a lot in this world that wouldn’t betray you. Karis would never break my trust, I knew that. My computer would always run the code I told it to, just like my records would always play the right songs, and my comic books would always tell me the kind of stories that let me drift away from reality a bit. But men? Men were a mess, and I still didn’t understand a thing about them.
Except for the fact that I needed them, that was. I needed a man in my life, and I had been lonely ever since Mario broke my heart. In a weird way, that night with Brick helped me realize something had to change. Inches away from servicing him, my heart pounding in my chest, I had let myself feel desire again, and that desire had remained even when he yanked himself away from me so abruptly.
So now here I was, a guy pounding his forehead against his steering wheel on the street outside a comic book shop, trying to work up the nerve to flirt. At least I had one positive memory with Ezra to build from. I still wasn’t sure what that car trip was about, and it wasn’t like he had flirted with me or anything. But just like the weird encounter at the Steel Rose, the short car ride with Ezra had given me a taste of something I needed in my life.
Practicing my smile and checking my teeth in the rearview mirror, I finally forced myself out of the car and headed into the shop.
Ezra was standing in the back of the store, positioning a life-sized cutout of Batman and hanging a garland of flowers around the figure’s neck. When he heard the door, he spun around and shot me a big smile. “Irving!”
I stopped in my tracks, my knees going all wobbly again.Hello, Ezra,I practiced in my head.I had a lovely afternoon with you. Would you like to go on a date with me?
“Hi! We met the other day? I’m Irving.”
Ezra gave me a lopsided smile. “No duh, I remember. That’s why I just said your name.”
My cheeks burned, but I forced myself to walk across the store in his direction, staring at the ground the whole way. I probably knew the carpet in Northstar better than anyone. “Right, of course,” I said, placing my hand lightly on a shelf of comics and glancing back up.
“You in for your regular comics? You know, we can put together your order before you show up, if you’d like. A lot of our customers want us to have their titles waiting and ready to go.”
I shook my head, thinking about how important the awkward half-hour I spent in the shop every week felt. “No, thanks. I like to browse.”
“Me too. Browsing is the best part.”
I noticed that the shooting star necklace was hanging from his neck, dangling over his chest. He wore a flashy purple dress shirt, buttoned all the way to the collar and tucked in his shorts.
Adorable.And sexy.As though it wasn’t already hard enough to talk to him.
“Batman going to a party?” I asked.
He chuckled, then pulled out a large sign. There were big curly letters filling up the middle of the poster:Even superheroes gotta have fun!Alongside, there were drawings of a bunch of iconic characters, all dancing together and celebrating beneath a large disco ball.
“I get to do the decorations for the window,” he said, shrugging. “It gives me a way to practice my drawing skills.”
I studied the illustrations, noticing how crisp the lines were and how expressive all the characters seemed. “You’re pretty talented.”
“It’s nothing. Like I said the other day, I had lots of practice growing up.” He glanced at the poster, then shoved it aside again. “Hey, did the video game components work out for you?”
I nodded. “Yeah, the board works fine, and one of the ROMs was the game I was looking for.”
“Ghouls ‘n Ghosts.”
“Yeah, that’s right!” I was flattered that he remembered. It seemed like such a silly project, but I guess he did work in a comic book store.
