ChapterTwelve
Why?You have to ask why?”
Andrew ran an agitated hand through his hair.The stubborn woman would be his demise.“Don’t be absurd, Georgiana.You know as well as I do that this will not do.”
He had blurted out a marriage proposal while he still lay on the bed, with Georgiana on his floor looking like a frightened rabbit and Harley laughing in the doorway.It had all the earmarks of pure farce.Her haughty refusal, however, struck him as having no humor whatsoever.
It took him two painful hours to dress respectably and all his control to ignore Harley’s knowing looks while he did.The time allowed him to nurse his anger.What possessed that woman to get into my bed?Has she no sense?
Her refusal of his proposal made more sense.The woman wouldn’t lower herself, even to avoid ruin.She had spouted some pompous nonsense about the honor he did her and the demands of her own honor that forced her to refuse.He may have imagined the bitter edge to her voice.She had run from the room before he could pursue it.
Now he stood with bare feet planted on his study floor, hands fisted behind his back, and temper precariously controlled.
Georgiana, primly dressed with a book in front of her, sat at his worktable.Her self-possession inflamed his already hot anger.She may be made of ice, but I certainly am not.The memory of her peeping over the edge of his bed in her ridiculously innocent night rail made him want to haul her back to bed right in front of Harley.This has to stop.
“If it is my thoughtless behavior in the night?—”
“Thoughtless?Insane!Your presence here was improper when I was incapacitated—which I wish to make clear I no longer am—and it can’t go on.”
“Andrew, it is too late for those considerations.What difference will a few more days make?”
“Your assistance,my lady,was unsought and unneeded.It is certainly no longer required.”His voice dripped acid as he emphasized her formal title.
Harley’s impertinent amusement began to break into chuckles, exacerbating Andrew’s determination.Black eyes met blue implacably.It took all his will power not to look away from the hurt in her eyes.Long moments passed before he spoke again.The catch in his throat when he did annoyed him.
“If you wish to resume our work, I will thank you to leave me to my peace for one week.Then, if you still want it, we can take it up again.”
Another long moment passed.
“I’m not accustomed to being dismissed.”Her voice had a wispy air as if it came from far away.
A raw sound burst from deep inside him.“You are notbeing dismissed!Who would dare dismiss the Lady Georgiana Hayden?”
“Who indeed?One person would, and I would like to know why.”
Why again.Why what?She can’t seriously believe this morning’s actions were acceptable.
“That is my condition, Mr.Mallet.If you wish me to go, I will go.Before I leave, however, you must tell me why you left me.Don’t pretend confusion.You know very well I mean before.”
Before?His throat went dry.She can’t mean what happened years ago.He could hardly cope with this morning.
“Spare us both any foolishness, Andrew.Why did you leave me after that night in the Pembrook’s garden?You told me you would call on me the next day.You didn’t.A month, a full month later Richard told me you had sailed to India to join Wellesley.Why, Andrew?”
He stood in mute dismay; silence, thick in the air, weighed down his heart and trapped the breath in his lungs.Her eyes drilled into him; he didn’t speak.
“I thought—never mind what I thought.You said you would call, and you did not.”She paused and waited for an answer.He couldn’t give her one.
“Was I so repulsive that you had to bolt the country?”Her cry of the heart split the air.
He still couldn’t answer.The vivid memory of her face–young, joyful, and eager in the dim light of the garden and of the warm spring air, scented with the lilacs, tore at his heart.The hurt in her face lacerated his soul.He swallowed painfully and directed his gaze downward.
Georgiana noticed Harley’s presence too late in Andrew’s opinion.“Mr.Harley, would you please remove my trunk?It is clear I will be leaving today.”Harley looked like he wanted to refuse, but she stared him down.The man lifted the trunk, shaking his head the whole time, while they waited in silence.When he went through the door and down the stairs, she didn’t follow.
“I will leave when you give me the respect of an honest answer.What happened that night?Was it my father?Spare me the tale of your longing for adventure and the sword, your great ambition for glory.I may have believed it then, but I don’t believe it now.What happened?”
He wavered at last.“No.”His eyes met hers.She looked infinitely sad, gripped by a deep and unfathomable grief.“The army wasn’t my life’s ambition.”He didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice, harsh and far away.He turned his head, unable to bear the sight of her sorrow.
“It wouldn’t do,” he began.“You must have realized that.A schoolmaster’s son.Four years your junior.In every way your inferior.No prospects.No funds.I planned to offer.”He was pleading now, looking at her, willing her to understand.“I planned to abase myself before the great Duke of Sudbury.”
