ChapterFive
It isn’t at all uncommon you know, and nothing to cause shame.”
Georgiana sobbed quietly in Edwina Potter’s tiny parlor.Her fears for her health were far from “nothing,” but the sympathetic words warmed her as much as the fire and the excellent China tea.They beat down the flood gates behind which she hid her fears—fear of death, fear of life, fear of nothingness.
It took all her courage to describe her body’s betrayal–the heavy bleeding and infernal weakness—to the older woman.Her failures as a woman shamed her; belief that her deepening weakness presaged her own death terrified her.Here in this parlor, for the first time, she felt less alone in her fear.
“How can it be common?Womankind would all die out.”
“No one would live to my ancient age?”The old woman twinkled up at her and reached out to hold her hand.
“Yes, precisely.I won’t live long.I know it!I don’t shrink from it.I only want to finish my work.”The words rang sour in her ears.
“Nonsense!You’ll live long enough to finish your work and beyond.You are a vital young woman, with much to give.”
Georgiana doubted that.“How can one get past it?”
“Some don’t.”The old woman shrunk a little under the weight of memory.“My own sister died when a bit older than you.”
“There!You see?”
“But she also wore herself out with childbearing.”
“Different then.I have no children and no hope of any.”Her childlessness weighed on her, more so lately than ever before.After she died, she thought, there would be nothing unless she finished her work, and even then, who would care?
“Notso different.We all have our monthly trials, but some women, for whatever reason, bleed almost to death, children or no.Hannah did that even when she wasn’t with child.Doctors in Yorkshire could do nothing.”
“The old fool my father sent out from London wants to bleed me—again!”
“Any woman would see that for the stupidity it is.”
“Mrs.Potter, do you know anything about a Dr.Peabody?He is a surgeon—and a physician, too, I believe—who has premises here in Cambridge.”
“Edwin Peabody?Excellent man.He is the rarest of all beasts, a medical man who understands women’s complaints.I planned to recommend him myself.How did you hear of him?”
“My brother recommended him.Richard’s research is always thorough.The rest he recommended are all in Edinburgh of all places.”
Mrs.Potter chuckled.“Indeed.I believe Edwin studied there.Has no truck with the philosophical approach.He tells me they take a more scientific way at the University there.Proud of it, and Cambridge be damned.I think you would like him.”
Georgiana dried her face.“If you vouch for him, I will see him.”
They sipped in companionable silence for some moments.
“Tell me about this grandson of yours, Mrs.Potter.How is his Greek?”
“I’m no one to judge, but adequate, I think.It isn’t his specialty.That would be Latin.Horace.Not only that...”Mrs.Potter lowered her voice to a whisper.“He’s a Fellow of the University—a celibate old bachelor.You did say the works are by women, didn’t you?”
Mrs.Potter straightened awkwardly before going on.“Notthe man you need.Banish the thought.Now, what shall we do about this little supper on Sunday?”
* * *
Andrew’s progressalong King’s Parade slowed with every step.He stayed on the main roads; he avoided Peas Hill this time.
“Harley’s right, damn his hide.Something isn’t healing.”He leaned on his silver-tipped walking stick, head into the wind.
The splendid medieval buildings of the colleges didn’t interest him.His mind, to his own great consternation, was filled only with Lady Georgiana Hayden.
Andrew knew what lay behind her visit and the completely unnecessary sympathy note.Dunning’s stories made it clear that she needed help with her work.She wanted to be rescued again.
