“Yeah. Congratulations, Lacey.” It was odd how this had worked out. Piedmont College had changed both of our worlds in the same weekend. Lacey was a freshman, and I couldn’t be sure what I was. “When do you start?”
“In January. I’ll still spend my first semester at MCC, since there isn’t enough time to rearrange things for this fall.”
I understood that problem. I handed the letter back.
“Granddad helped, didn’t he?” Kimberley asked.
“Probably. He did offer to several months ago. I finally checked in with the financial aid team, and it happened.”
Of course it had. Kimberley’s grandfather was the college president. The only surprise was that he hadn’t initiated it sooner.
“You and Sara will be able to hang out on campus. Even take the same classes together.”
My lips twisted. “Think again.”
The two of them went still and gaped at me.
“Wow, Sara,” Lacey huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I looked away, overwhelmed by a fierce burst of anger. At them. At me. Why had we celebrated her good news immediately while, three days after mine, I ached alone?
I’d never sought friends the way most girls did. I’d been born five minutes before the best friend I would ever need. It had been fine not to fully invest in other relationships because I had Sean. Now I’d lost my best friend, and apparently I didn’t have anyone else either because here I was—with this awful news screwing up a life that was already completely sucky—and the two people who were supposed to be my closest friends hadn’t even noticed the difference in me.
“I think I’ll go. Kimberley, you should let Lacey take you home.” I hurried to my Lexus, jumped in, and left.
When I reached home, I called for Grant.
“Yes, Sara?”
“Want to join me on the swing?”
“Certainly.”
We sat side by side and rocked. He must have sensed how upset I was, because he said nothing.
Good. I had to sort through my feelings before I could proceed.
There was anger. Panic. Disappointment. A crushing sense of isolation. Where were these feelings coming from?
The disappointment was easy enough. I was disappointed in myself, and I just had to shrug it off. Regrets would only get in the way.
I brought on the isolation by not telling anyone, and I was about to fix that with Grant.
The anger was directed at Piedmont for dropping this major problem on me just before a four-day weekend.
Strangely, though, I wasnotangry about being forced to consider alternatives. I was welcoming that. When I mentally revisited the Piedmont campus, there was no excitement. I’d been resigned to going there, rather than happy about it.
While my brother was healthy, I’d planned to go somewhere out of state. Somewhere I’d never been before. Vanderbilt. College of the Atlantic. Lewis & Clark. After he got sick, I abandoned that idea. My family needed me. I had to stay nearby. Yet I still wanted to get out of the house. Piedmont had been a good compromise.
Those reasons weren’t in effect anymore. My parents were trying to move on. This could be my chance too.
The only feeling left to sort out was the panic, and that came from not knowing what my future held. A wish could change that.
Wow, I was calming down already.
I shifted on the swing toward Grant. “I have a problem that I’ll need your help with. Piedmont College has put me on academic probation until I earn a third credit in a world language.”
“Why did you not finish?” He had switched to French.
