He grimaces, but in a way that tells me he’s aware of this problem.And I’m not really mad at him.I’m mad at the fact that what he’s saying is probably completely true.And that a part of me wants desperately for everything to fall apart come Monday and extend my winning this war into an indefinite future.Ward off ruin for a little longer.
“I’ve been working on my coke habit,” Nico says.“And yeah, maybe consiglieri is a stretch.For now.But I mean to prove my worth to you.And stay by your side if you’ll have me.There’s nothing left in New York for me.”
I nod and offer him my hand.“You’re welcome to stay, cousin.And I appreciate all you’ve already done for me and my family.Consiglieri it is.”
We shake on it, and the pride on his face is something I’m not used to seeing there.He’s usually horsing around more often than he’s not, but maybe he really is trying to turn a new leaf.So I don’t also tell him that his new position will likely be short-lived.
But that’s enough of being serious for now.I have forty-eight hours left with Goldie and I’m gonna make every minute count.
Chapter30
GIANNA
I’ve never beento a real party before, much less a biker club party.And now that I have, I might never stop attending them.Silly as that sounds.
There’s loud rock music playing, laughter and loud conversations going on, open air barbecues, a pool tournament, and very beautiful women dancing with men that I’d be scared to meet in the street.But it’s all so wild and free and alive that I just want to melt into it, and become a part of it forever.
Matteo left to have another meeting with the MC president Rogue and a few other men that definitely did not look like they were here just to party… or that partying is high on their list of priorities at all.But as soon as he gets back, I’m going to drag him to one of the fires that had sprung up all over the yard outside.There we can kiss under the stars with this energy of life and freedom thrumming in the air all around us, the possibility of endless futures riding the fire’s sparks high into the sky.And then maybe I’ll try to convince him to buy a motorcycle so we can take a ride or ten along the coast, because I just know I’d love that very much too.
But will there be time?
What if he doesn’t survive his war?
It’s close now.I can feel it.
I can also feel that everything will change now.Again.
But I’m trying very hard to ignore all that.Trying very hard to focus on just tonight.
“You look a little lost,” Bella says as she wanders to me and hands me bottle of soda, wet with the perspiration of the heat in the air.“Did he leave you all alone again?”
“Not for long,” I say.“And wow, is this your life every day?I never imagined parties could be this much fun.This alive.All the parties I’ve ever been to have been very stiff affairs, and I was expected to leave them by ten PM so the men could talk and such.Even my own twenty-first birthday party.”
The pang of pain in my chest as I remember that night, which was not so very long ago, is real enough to make my eyes water a little.But that was my life then.And this is my life now.And I’m going to enjoy every moment.Because I now know that you truly never know what tomorrow will bring.
Bella laughs.“You like it, huh?But no, it’s definitely not this much fun every night.The Angels spend most of their days hunting down some criminal or another, and I spend most of my time sketching tattoo designs or inking them into their skin.But it’s a good life.Much better than those stiff parties you were talking about, and men who think they can control every aspect of my life.I hope Matteo’s not like that with you.”
“He’s not.”
She gives me a serious look like she’s trying to see if I’m lying.I kind of am, since he’s still keeping me locked up, but I’m sure that will end as soon as that war of his ends.If he survives it.
“He’s a good man and he does care about you,” I say.“Very much, I think.He’s just been hurt a lot.”
She nods and looks away, but not before I see the deep sadness in her eyes.“I know he’s a good man.And I know he’s been hurt.And I know?—”
“Forget it,” I interrupt her.“There’s no point being sad over the past.Not tonight.Not ever, as far as I’m concerned.”
She gives me a grateful look.But one that also plainly says I’m being naive.Which I know I am.But I’m not letting any sadness in, not tonight, not from anywhere.
I can already feel the sun of Matteo’s presence on my back.Wherever he was, he’s on his way back to me.Or is just thinking about me, I also always feel that now.Even when we’re miles apart.
“So, you’re a tattoo artist?”I ask.“Are you any good?”
“Apparently she’s the best,” Matteo says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.“Or so Blade tells me.”
She blushes a little.“You two talk about me?”
“I like to know that you’re doing good,” he says.“Even if I don’t always show it.I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls last week.”
