A violin quartet played love songs, but after dinner, someone announced the father daughter dance. Hawk pulled my chair out and walked me to the makeshift dancefloor in front of all the tables near the stage.
“Thank you for escorting my littleKatushka,” Papa said.
Hawk placed my hand into my father’s but before he left, he said, “I think she’s my littleKatushkanow, but I’ll let you have the first dance.”
Papa’s hand gently squeezed mine and I stifled a laugh. The quartet began playing Daddy’s Little Girl, though, and my chin trembled.
Papa pulled me closer, and we began our slow dance as the lights went down, a spotlight on us.
“You look radiant today, my dear.”
Smiling, I told him, “Thank you, Papa. You look very dashing. Isn’t it customary for the bride and groom to have the first dance?”
He chuckled. “Well, I took advantage of being in charge of planning. So, are you nervous?”
“He seems agreeable. I’m going to miss home. But I’m curious to see my new home. And the ladies seem very friendly.” That was all true, but it felt very trite. What else was I supposed to say? Feel? I didn’t know any of these people and have only left home long enough for a vacation.
He grinned. “Oh yes, lots of new things. But I meant nervous about tonight.”
Oh my God. Was he actually talking about this with me? On the dance floor? In front of all these people? “Papa,” I gasped.
His belly shook with his laughter. “Ah, my littleKatushka. You’re a wife now, and you have your duties. I know your mother isn’t here to discuss such things, but I’m sure itwon’t be as bad as you have built it up.”
Still forcing a smile, since everyone was watching and assuming we were having a lovely moment dancing to a heartfelt song, I said, “Papa, I’d rather not talk about this with you. I’m sure it will be fine.”
“Good girl. Or should I say woman?” He laughed again. “He’ll know you’re innocent, and I’m sure he’ll be gentle.”
“Papa!” I whisper-shouted. “Thank you but I fully understand my duties and what will happen. Idon’twish to discuss this with you.”
“Alright, alright. Just no more champagne. You’ll need to make this official before you leave.”
Swallowing hard, I lifted my chin and put on my very best fake smile hoping the bile that rose in my throat subsided soon.
I knew full well what was meant to happen later. I’d always imagined I’d at least have met my husband a few times and even spoken longer than an hour before I was expected to hand my body over to him.
I also always expected a little more than a make-shift wedding tent in our backyard with even fewer guests than some parties we’d hosted.
Looking around as Papa floated me over the small dance floor, I almost laughed. Besides Klara, nobody was there for me. How sad. But not surprising. From the outside it appeared I had everything. Really all I had was hanging onto my mother’s dream in her restaurant, and Klara. The other employees were wonderful and we had a very family-feel. But they all knew who I was. They were coworkers and employees. They weren’t trulymy friends, even though I cared for them all dearly.
As the song came to a close, the announcer came back on and said it was time for the first dance for the newlyweds.
Papa kissed my forehead, then my hand before passing it to the waiting Hawk. Papa’s eyes narrowed on him before he exited the stage, but Hawk didn’t seem at all bothered by the look. Instead, he threw my hands around his neck, then pulled me close by the waist.
“I don’t really do ballroom dancing,” he said in my ear.
His warm breath sent goosebumps over my arms. The heat of his large palms on my back with my breasts pressed against him sent all the blood in my body straight to my core.
“You smell nice,” he said.
Clearing my throat, I told him, “So do you. I meant to tell you before, you look very handsome.”
He pressed a light kiss against my neck, and my body stiffened. But he kept swaying us until the song was over, then he led me back to our seats.
The rest of the evening was awkward. I sat quietly as the men laughed and drank, Klara sat with me mostly but did grab a dance with Niko. Still, I couldn’t have any real conversation with her. She’d already helped me prepare for later.
Once we cut the cake, most of the party began to thin out.
Hawk had fed me a small piece, and I did the same. Then we mingled through the crowd. He shook hands, made small talk, and I stood quietly with my champagne.
