She’d been married, and she’d had children. She’d survived things that had required far more bravery than making a phone call. But the idea of hearing Billie’s voice, of offering something that could be refused, made her feel sick to her stomach.
Maeve’s words echoed in her mind.
Invite her over. Just promise me you won’t disappear from your own life.
Debra stopped pacing and stood in the middle of the room, her phone somehow in her hand again. She stared down at it,knowing a text would likely be easier and safer. It would give Billie space to think and to craft a response that didn’t put her on the spot. But Debra didn’t want safe. Not tonight. She wanted to hear Billie and know where she stood without guessing.
She took a breath and pressed call.
It rang out, but just as she was about to hang up, Billie answered. “Debra?”
The sound of her name—entirely different from how Billie once said it—sent a wave of relief washing over her.
“Hi,” Debra was suddenly aware of how fast her heart was beating. “I hope it’s okay that I called. I wasn’t sure whether to text or?—”
“It’s okay,” Billie said. “It’s fine. It’s always nice hearing your voice.”
God, this Billie was far more dangerous than the one she’d initially met.
She smiled and lowered herself to the couch, taking the weight off before her knees did it for her. “I…I feel a little bit lost, Billie.”
There was a small pause on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
Debra swallowed. “I don’t want to overstep, and you absolutely don’t have to say yes, but I wondered if you might want to get together. Just for a few hours. No expectations. We could talk, or not talk. Whatever feels right.”
Debra noted the heaviness in the silence that had just settled between them. Something deep down told her Billie was going to reject her.
“I, um…I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m sorry.”
Debra’s stomach dipped, but she kept her voice steady. “Okay. That’s okay.”
“It’s not because I don’t want to see you, I do, but you’re dating Lucille. I’m really happy for you, but I can’t put myselfin a position where I blur lines or do something that feels dishonest.”
Debra frowned. “Dishonest?”
“I don’t cheat,” Billie said. “Not with someone outside of The Full Service…emotionally or physically.”
Debra closed her eyes.Oh. “Billie, Lucille and I decided that we’re better off as friends.”
Billie’s breath caught audibly through the phone. “W-when?”
“Today.”
“But I saw you together today.”
Debra understood Billie’s confusion, she hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with the truth at her apartment a little while ago, but it was time to be honest. If they had any hope of moving forward together rather than alone, then Debra knew she had to say what she was feeling.
“Yes, I know. We discussed it at a wine bar afterwards.”
“So,” Billie said slowly. “You’re not?—”
“I’m not seeing her, and I’m not over you. Far from it, actually.”
The words landed between them, terrifying but undeniably true.
“I was scared to push.” Debra’s voice held steady even as her heart pounded. “After everything that happened, after seeing how much you were carrying, I didn’t want to be another demand or another expectation. I wanted to call, but I didn’t want to put more on you than you were already dealing with.”
Billie’s breath caught audibly. “And now?”
