“Debra.” Billie turned in her seat and cleared her throat.
“Yes?”
“I will tell you about last night. About all of it. I won’t hide it from you.” Billie took a breath. “I just…I might need a little time to say it properly.”
Debra nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”
The constant ache in Billie’s chest eased at that. At least, enough for her to feel as though she could breathe again.
She reached for the door handle, then paused, her hand stopping short as a different thought surfaced. One she hadn’t planned, but one she couldn’t ignore.
“Would you, um…” Billie glanced back at her, uncertainty almost fighting its way through. “Would you like to come in for a coffee?”
That question felt enormous. Not because it was romantic or loaded, but because it was an invitation Billie hadneveroffered to anyone before.
Debra studied her for a moment, clearly weighing the question for what it was…and what it wasn’t. “I’d like that, but only if you’re sure.”
Billie nodded, relief coursing through her tired, aching bones. “I am.”
They got out of the car together, and Billie inhaled a deep breath of morning air. As she unlocked the door to her building, Billie felt something unfamiliar settle in her chest. For once, it wasn’t fear…but a sense that maybe she didn’t have to face what came next entirely on her own.
Of all theplaces she could have ended up today with Debra, Billie’s apartment had not been what she’d initially had in mind. As she stepped inside, the order she’d maintained was visible for all to see. Everything was in its place, predictable and, quite frankly, sad on reflection.
Billie hovered just inside the doorway, her keys clutched in her hand and her heart racing, considering she was in her own calm space. She hadn’t meant to pause at the door, but she had—long enough to feel those old reflexes claw at her ribs—before she stepped aside to let Debra in.
“Sorry,” she murmured. “It’s not very exciting.”
Debra smiled. “It’s yours.”
That alone almost had Billie sinking to the floor with a sob.
Debra moved through the space without scrutiny or judgement. She didn’t comment on the lack of personal clutter or ask why it felt so carefully curated. She simply took in thelight, the neat bookshelf, and the art, and when she sat down on Billie’s couch—crossing her legs and entirely at ease—everything within Billie relaxed.
God. She looks so right sitting there.
That thought initially frightened her, but Billie focused on making coffee, hyper-aware of Debra’s eyes on her but not necessarily overwhelmed. The silence between them had never felt awkward, and even now, after everything that had happened last night, Billie felt calm. Well, as calm as she could feel knowing Debra had seen a side of her that she hoped nobody would ever see again.
Once they had coffee in their hands, they talked about small, insignificant things. The traffic they’d been stuck in, and the stray cat Debra had started feeding in the communal back garden of her flat, but nothing about kneeling.Nothingabout last night.
“Billie, are you okay? Do you need anything?” Debra gazed back at her from the opposite couch. “Do you…want me to leave?”
“No, no. I’m fine.” Billie wasn’t sure she knew what fine meant anymore, but Debra accepted it. She didn’t probe further or pry; she just sat on the couch, sipping her coffee.
An hour passed in the same manner, and then Billie’s apartment door flew open and bounced back off the inside wall.
“Billie!”
The sound of her name—panicked andterrifyinglyfamiliar—sent Billie bolt upright. Her pulse spiked before her mind could catch up.
Ella stood in the doorway, breathless and with her coat half on, her eyes wide with fear. She cast her gaze over Billie, searching her face with a hint of relief. “Oh, thank God! You scared the shit out of me.”
Billie froze. “Ella, w-what are you doing here?”
“Nina called me,” Ella said as she dragged a hand through her hair. “She said you werenotokay last night. And then you didn’t show up at work this morning and—” She stopped abruptly, noticing Debra on the couch.
Debra rose to her feet and lifted a hand. “Hi. I’m Debra.”
“O-oh, hi.” Once Ella had recalibrated, she smiled. “Ella. It’s lovely to meet you.”
