“B-Billie.” Debra rose to her feet. There was hesitation there, but the shock on Debra’s face was more prominent. “I…I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”
“I’m meeting a client.” The words came easily, slotting into place the way they always did. But the truth that she hadn’t trusted herself to be alone stayed where it belonged. There was no client. Just a lonely dinner for one. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“No,” Debra said as she smiled and shook her head. “Not at all.”
Debra’s date stood and offered a polite smile, as well as her hand. “Lucille.”
“Billie.” She shook it, hoping she could keep all of this professional and controlled. “Nice to meet you.”
Lucille switched her gaze between them, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “Are you a friend of Debra’s?”
Billie glanced at Debra, then turned her attention back to Lucille. “Something like that. I’m…her tailor.”
Debra didn’t contradict her, and she didn’t explain. The fact that she hadn’t done so didn’t make any of this any better. Somehow, the acceptance of it all hurt more than any correction could have.
“I won’t keep you,” Billie said, already stepping back, the decision made before she could allow herself to reconsider. “I just wanted to say hello.” She eyed Debra one final time, aware that her mask had slipped and something real had inched through. “It was good to see you. Take care.”
A shadow of guilt, maybe regret, passed across Debra’s eyes. Or perhaps it was simply the ache of someone standing on the opposite side of a choice that had already been made for them. “Yes. You, too.”
Billie nodded once and turned away before her emotions could give her away. She would head out of the restaurant and find another place to eat. Billie didn’t allow herself to breathe properly until she reached the pavement, the restaurant door closing behind her with a finality that brought tears to her eyes.
The sudden pain she felt in her chest wasn’t intense or dramatic. It was far worse than that. It was a slow, heavy weight that pressed down on her ribs, and it was the kind of weight that came from understanding something when it was too late.
She’d told herself that this was necessary. That the distance she’d forced between them was protection and the only way to keep Debra safe from Billie’s history, her…damage. From the parts of herself she still didn’t trust.
But standing alone, her heart breaking, Billie admitted the truth she’d been avoiding for weeks now. She hadn’t protected Debra at all. She’d protected herself…and it had cost her everything.
This is where you belong.Nowhere else.
The shop was in darkness as Billie slipped the key into the lock and forced the door open. She flicked on a single overhead light, unable to deal with brightness this evening, and stopped in the middle of the floor. Everything in here was perfectly still and arranged. Like Billie herself, everything was predictable.
She didn’t want to go home. She couldn’t face the misery waiting for her. Her flat felt too empty lately, yet too full of thevery ghost she’d tried to outrun for a decade. At least in here, the air knew who she was supposed to be.
She slipped her coat off, hung it up, and checked that the door had closed behind her. Her steps echoed as she moved down the hallway, the rhythm grounding her and reminding her of the life she’d built long before Debra Allen had walked in and changed it without realising it.
Billie entered her office and lowered herself into a chair, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut as the image of Debra at that table replayed in excruciating detail.
The laughter and the wine-flushed cheeks. The blueness of her eyes and the softness of her personality…all with someone else. It felt as though someone had taken a knife straight to her heart.
She swallowed and forced air into her lungs. She had no right to feel like this.Shehad told Debra to walk away. So why did it hurt like Billie had been the one left behind?
She reached for the bottle of whiskey she kept tucked away, hidden, not for indulgence but for moments like this, when her own thoughts were too loud. She poured a finger’s width into a glass, took a slow sip, and let the burn ease its way down into her chest.
Through her open office door, the lights on the shop floor came to life. Billie tensed, rising halfway from her chair.
“Miss Brown?” Nina’s tentative voice floated down the hallway. “Are you here? Hello?”
Billie blew out a deep breath and lowered herself back into her chair as Nina appeared in the doorway. She was dressed like she’d just come from dinner, but it didn’t explain why she was now standing in front of Billie. “What are you doing here?”
“I had dinner with my sister,” Nina said as she stepped inside. “I walked past on my way home and saw a light on.I thought…well.” She shrugged awkwardly. “I wanted to check that everything was okay and make sure the place was locked up properly.”
That loyalty, her fierce, unconditional protectiveness over the business…it meant more than Billie could ever explain. “Thank you for checking.”
Nina nodded, then paused before crossing the room. “Is everything okay? You seem…upset.”
Billie stared down at her glass, weighing the truth against the silence she usually kept. “I’m fine. It’s been a long night.”
Nina approached cautiously, but Billie didn’t expect anything different. She was hardly welcoming these days. “Do you want some company?”
