“You think I don’t see you,” she continued as she took Billie’s hand. God, the softness of her skin almost made Debra weep. “But I do. I see the woman who can steady someone with onesentence, and I see the woman who knowsexactlyhow to make someone feel understood, even when she pretends it’s just a part of the service.”
Billie visibly swallowed. It wasn’t vulnerability or weakness that had just flashed in her eyes, it was…recognition.
“You keep trying to disappear behind all that control, but that’s not who you were with me today. Whether you like it or not, you’ve already let a hint of the real you slip through.”
Billie tried to pull her hand away. “Debra?—”
“No. Let me finish.” Debra stepped closer again, her heartbeat raging out of control. “I know you’re scared. I don’t know why, and I won’t pretend to understand, but I feel it every time you look at me, only to look away again. I feel it when you take a step towards me…then take two steps back. It’s written in every pause you take before you speak.”
Debra knew this was a waste of time, but Billie had done something life-changing for her the day they’d met. She’d opened her eyes to the potential life had to offer. She’d reminded Debra that she was a person with a heart, and someone who deserved to see themselves first before anything else. The least Debra could do in return was try to help Billie through whatever it was she was dealing with. Because for all the confidence and all the bravado…deep down, Billie was broken.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Billie. I’m not here to takeanythingfrom you. I’m just asking you to stop running for one minute. Just one. I’m asking you to stay long enough to see that whatever it is you’re scared of…I’m not that person. This doesn’t have to be dangerous.”
Billie looked back at her as though the ground had shifted beneath her feet.
Still, she had nothing to say in response.
“You don’t let people in,” Debra whispered. “I know that, I respect that, and I won’t even try to change your mind.” Sheoffered a small, aching smile. “You told me before what I do to you, then you kissed me as though I was the only woman in the world you wanted, but I know that was Billie Brown the tailor talking. I know that you’re very good at making us feel what you want us to feel.”
Billie frowned. “That’s not?—”
“What I’m saying…is that I’m so very happy our paths crossed, and while I wish this could have been different, I know whennotto chase someone.” Debra leaned in and pressed a kiss to Billie’s cheek. “I can, however, be a friend to you. Someone you can offload on. Someone you can confide in and open up to when you need that.” Debra would always wish she’d had more with this woman, but she would never expect anyone to stick around if they felt uncomfortable. “And then maybe one day, you’ll let yourself want something without punishing yourself for it. Maybe one day, you’ll be in a space like this…with someone youdowant to be with.”
Billie closed her eyes and swallowed. When she opened them again, something was different. Her eyes were gentler around the edges, and the tension in her face had loosened.
Debra felt the shift in the room. She also felt Billie sway imperceptibly towards her.
And then she heard Billie’s breath catch before she whispered, “It wasn’t the tailor in me. You…undo me.”
“What do you want, Billie? Forget the control and the steel you’ve built around yourself, and tell me…if you could haveanythingat all, what is it that you want?”
Billie stepped closer, ghosted a fingertip up Debra’s throat, and breathed against her lips, “You.”
Debra rose onto her toes, pressed her body to Billie’s, and kissed her.
The first touch of Billie’s lips was hesitant, until she inhaled against Debra’s mouth, slid her hands to her waist, and gripped her hard enough to send a tremor down Debra’s spine.
Debra deepened the kiss, tasting whiskey on Billie’s breath, while feeling the controlled craving beneath her careful stillness. Billie kissed her like someone who had been denying herself for years and was only now remembering what it felt like to want.
When they finally pulled apart for air, Billie touched her forehead to Debra’s and closed her eyes. “I don’t know how to have this.” She visibly swallowed, but her hands still rested at Debra’s waist, holding her like she wasn’t entirely sure she was allowed to, yet unable to let go.
Debra lifted a hand and cupped Billie’s cheek, brushing her thumb against her skin. Billie went perfectly still beneath the touch, as though the tenderness was far more frightening than the desire.
“Billie,” she whispered.
Billie leaned forward. Not for a kiss, but to rest her forehead against Debra’s shoulder, breathing her in as though she needed to feel grounded.
Debra held her close, her fingers sliding into Billie’s hair, offering herself as something steady.
“I wasn’t supposed to want you.” Billie lifted her head, her dark eyes searching. “But I don’t know how to stop myself.”
And then she kissed Debra again. This time hungrier and deeper. Debra felt Billie’s restraint fray, her hands gripping at Debra’s waist as the kiss grew more urgent. Debra melted into it, her whole body warming under Billie’s touch as she slid her arms around Billie’s neck and pulled her even closer.
Billie shifted, and her thigh brushed Debra’s, the soft friction making her gasp against her lips. Billie stilled at the sound. Then, slowly and teasingly, pressed closer.
Debra felt that low, simmering desire roll through her as Billie guided them backwards until the backs of her legs met the couch. Debra sank down onto the cushions, taking Billie with her. Billie braced herself with a knee between Debra’s thighs, her breath unsteady when her eyes darkened further.
Debra reached up and touched Billie’s face, her voice barely above a whisper as she said, “It’s okay.”
