“She’s not the same as the others, is she?”
Billie swallowed and closed her eyes. It was true. Debra was nothing like the others. She had one of those smiles that not only made you instantly smile back, but one that instantly relaxed you. It took a lot for Billie to feel that from someone. In fact, she didn’t know the last time a woman’s smile had captured her quite like Debra’s had. “No. She’s not.”
“Then maybe stop treating her like she is.”
“That’sexactlywhy I have to treat her the same as the rest.” Billie wasn’t a cold, heartless bitch. If that was the way she came across, then it wasn’t always intentional. Knowing Debra thought that of her, or some variation of it anyway, made her body ache terribly. “It’s just easier. For her, more so.”
Ella exhaled a frustrated sigh. “Do youeverget tired of fighting yourself?”
“Every day, Ella. Every fucking day.” Billie ran a hand down her face. Most nights, she struggled to sleep. Most nights, she lay on the couch, wondering if or when she would ever come out of the nightmare she’d lived in for so long. Ella didn’t know that, nobody did, and it wasn’t something she planned to share. “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”
“Oh, I think you know what you’re doing now more than you have in a long time.” Ella nudged her knee. “You’re trying not to fall.”
Billie looked up, her lips parted and her hands clammy. “And what if I’ve already started to?”
Ella reached out a hand and squeezed Billie’s knee. “Maybe, for once, you should let yourself land and see what happens.”
Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Because if Billiedidlet Debra in, she would soon see how damaged she was. Billie couldn’t risk that kind of heartache. She wouldn’t survive it. “I can’t.”
Ella nodded slowly as she withdrew her hand. “Then you’ll stay miserable, babe. Just make sure that when the day comes to meet your maker, you can say it was worth it.”
Chapter Eleven
Debra hadnoidea what she was doing. It had started as a passing thought over coffee, the notion that she could simply walk in and that she didn’t need a reason or an appointment, even though she did. It wasn’t logic that had carried her to Savile Row but instinct, and by the time she’d reached the door of Brown & Co., her heart was already racing.
The moment she stepped inside, she spotted Billie behind the counter.
Her hair was perfectly styled as always, that dark, cropped cut taking Debra’s breath away. God, she wanted to run her fingers through it again. The grey waistcoat and white shirt beneath her suit jacket did nothing to make the sight less devastating. Billie looked up, and for a split second, surprise crossed her face.
Then that ever-present mask of calm settled back into place.
“Ms Allen. This is a surprise.”
“I hope it’s not an unwelcome one.”
Billie’s mouth curved. It wasn’tquitea smile, but it was close enough. “That depends on whether you’ve come to cause trouble.”
“Would you prefer it if I had?”
Thatdidearn her a real smile this time, brief but unmistakable. “Always straight to the point.”
Before Debra could answer, movement from the side caught her eye. A young woman that Debra believed to be Billie’s assistant stood near the back of the shop with an iPad in her hand. She wore a courteous expression, but her gaze held on Debra long enough for her to notice.
Billie saw it too, and her tone shifted. “Nina, I’ll take it from here.”
“Yes, Miss Brown.” Nina’s reply was quick, almost nervous, and then she glanced between them before slipping through a door at the back of the building.
Debra’s pulse picked up. There was something about the authority in Billie’s voice that sent heat raging throughout her. To be honest, shehatedhow much she enjoyed it. She hated that she’d ever been here for The Full Service at all.
“You have that effect on people, don’t you?” Debra stepped closer to the counter. “One word from you and everyone falls into line.”
Billie arched a brow. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, no. It’s just…very you.” There was no coldness today from Billie, just that strange current that seemed to hum between them. It felt familiar and new all at once. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your day, but I was in the area and thought I’d drop by.”
Billie nodded as she folded her hands on the counter. “And I suppose you wanted to check on the progress of your suit?”
“That’s one excuse.”
