Demetria and I both shoot him a look that says, ‘yeah, right.”
“Okay. Maybe there would be some other situations that would call for it, but I can’t think of any right now. I’ll let you know when they come up.”
“Does this help, Demetria?” I ask her curiously.
She quickly nods. “Yeah. It may take me a bit, but I’ll get there. Between you two and my dad, a lot has happened and I’m honestly still processing it all.”
“Promise me you’ll talk to us when you need to instead of holding it in?” I ask her.
“I promise I’ll try.” Such a stubborn little thing. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. She’s always been a little bit tough when it comes to getting to the emotional stuff.
My mind wanders for the briefest moment to the last time I had to push her like this. When she was my patient and –Nope. Not going there right now. This is aboutthem. Not me.
I turn to my ex-husband once again. “Now it’s your turn.”
His eyes roll slightly as he huffs out, “Seriously, Raegan. Everything is okay. I prom–”
“Tie me up,” I blurt out before he can get out more of his empty words.
“Excuse me?”
I jump up from the couch and run quickly to the bedroom to find just what I need to drive my point home. Once I’ve returned, I present the hank of red rope, dropping it in his lap and extending both arms. I already know how this is going to go. I just need him to see he’s not as fine as he thinks he is. “I want you to take that rope and tie… me… up. Specifically, my wrists.”
“I’m not fucking doing that,” he scoffs, turning his head like he’s irritated at the thought of it.
“Yes. You. Are.” I demand.
Hayes stands, towering over me and resuming his command of me and the space we’re in.Fuck that. “No. This is stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” I spit out. That came out wrongandslightly more childish than I meant it. But he’s trying to manipulate the situation to suit what makes him comfortable and I’m not going to put up with it. This ends tonight. “I knew you wouldn’t do it. You’re too afraid to hurt me like you did back then.”
His posture relaxes. “How are you okay with all of this? After all this time? You should still hate me.”
“I have news for you, Hayes. Accidents fucking happen. And that’s exactly what happened back then. It was a fucking accident that happened between two inexperienced, horny newlyweds. That’s all. We both know better now, unless I’m wrong and you’re just out there putting people at risk all willy-nilly. Am I wrong?”
“Jesus Christ. No.” His chest heaves with a slow sigh. “But I left you. How can you just let that go?”
“I’ll tell you a secret. I haven’t let it go yet. I’m still mad you didn’t talk to me like a normal human, so we could work out our shit.” I step into him and reach a hand out for Demetria to take, pulling her into us. “But also… I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been carrying your fathers callous words in your head all this time. And I have to at least acknowledge that our time apart, brought usthisbeautiful soul. We likely wouldn’t have her if none of that had happened. It’s going to take me some time to really get past my own trauma surrounding what happened, but I’ll work through it. We’ll work through it… together.”
Demetria squeezes us both into a tight embrace. “I’m so glad mommy and daddy finally made up. Shit was way weird.”
Hayes slaps her ass playfully, then asks me, “So, now that you’re done psychoanalyzing us, which you’re very good at–by the way–what’s next? And please don’t say the wordswillyornillyever again.”
“I have an idea to finally get us past this awkwardness, actually. But first, I need to know… do you trust me?”
41
Hayes
When she asked if I trust her, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. It’s the truth. I trust her with my life. I’m not sure why she even felt the need to ask. Then the second I answered her, she ran out of the room and hasn’t been back in at least fifteen minutes.
“I’ll be right out,” she shouts, her voice muffled through the thick door.
I’m frozen in place but turn to Demi. “Do you know what this is about?”
“No idea. But I have a feeling it’s not good.”
Fucking great.
