He throws his hands up in surrender. “I’m just curious. I’ve known you for a long time, and I’ve never seen you so depressed over a girl. It’s fucking weird.”
“It didn’t work out. She’s moving on with her life and I’m trying to move on with mine.” I don’t even believe my own lies. “And she’s not agirl.She’s a grown fucking woman.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t try to keep the conversation going. I’m not in the mood. I’d rather sit here and think about the girl that I pushed away, wondering where she is and what she’s doing. I imagine her happy because thinking about her this way is better than not thinking about her at all.
67
Arabella
“You’re all set, Arabella. Congratulations. See you next semester.” The admissions advisor reaches out to shake my hand.
I’m finally enrolled in classes. It took me a while to decide what I wanted to study. My mother’s manipulation and gaslighting were holding me back in so many ways. Even when I got my college scholarship at the age of seventeen, I didn’t know what Iwanted. And it went away so fast, I never knew what I was actually missing. Now I’m a registered Social Work Major, so I can use my experiences to help others.
I’ve been working as an intern at the local Child and Family Services Center. It pays nothing, but I have enough saved up from my time at Gravity that I can support myself for at least six more months before I’ll need to find a paying job. My boss seems impressed with my performance so far, so hopefully it will turn into a full time, paying gig.
As I start up the car, I take a deep cleansing breath.
One more stop.
Pulling up to Gravity, I peer through the windshield to stare at it for a second. For a few months, this was practically a second home. I run through everything in my head one last time before I pull the door handle, opening it to step out.
My heart is beating so fast, I’m afraid it’s going to leap out of my chest. I can feel the sweat on my palms as I dig my fingers painfully into the skin. I take a quick glance around, making sure I don’t see a specific car in the lot and am mostly thankful when I don’t see it anywhere. There’s a part of me that’s dying to see him, but that will have to wait. I have a plan and am determined to see it through.
I open the employee entrance door, and walk through the club, like I never left. The familiarity of the space helps my nerves relax just a little.
I’ve got this…
I think I’ve got this…
I have a basic idea… but I need help.
When I make it to the bar, I walk straight past, not affording anyone a second glance. If I blink, I’ll chicken out.
I climb the stairs and stop at the door I came for, knocking as confidently as I can.
“Come in, Arabella.”How did he know?
I pull the door open swiftly and walk right up to his desk.
“How did you know I was here?’
“Your brother sees everything, apparently. He texted me and told me you were coming up the stairs.” I’m not even going to touch how creepy that feels.
“Creepy, but okay,” I hiss. “Hayes, I need your help with something. Please.”
He doesn’t even look at me, he just keeps working.
“Shut the door and have a seat.”
68
Ryker
Ipull up to Gravity, wondering what the fuck I’m doing here. Hayes practically shoved me out the door last night and threatened to change the locks on me if I came back the rest of the weekend.
Sowhy am I here?
I tip my head at the new club bouncer, Dominic as I walk by. He came highly recommended by Axel and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but he’s a big mother fucker, so at least he has that going for him.
