Scrunching up her nose and pursing her lips, she retorts, “What’s happening in my ass right now, feels the exact opposite of simple.” When she starts laughing, I consider how beautiful she really is and realize I’d give anything to see her do it more… just like this.
37
Ryker
Shortly after I plugged her ass, she left to pick up Christine and I drove to Gravity because I can’t stomach sitting here alone, wondering how she’s doing. She’s only been back in my life a short time, and I’m already consumed by her. Her relationship with her mother seems to have twisted into something even more complicated, based on what she’s told me and as anxious as she was to go, I find myself just as anxious letting her go alone. Every cell in my body screams at me to protect her. She shouldn’t need it from her own fucking mother and that makes me unreasonably angry.
I need a distraction.
I’m not surprised when I pull up and see Hayes’ car parked in his usual spot. Good. I don’t drink much, but I could use one now and I don’t want to drink alone.
I’m having feelings for a woman young enough to be myactualdaughter and while I don’t give a shit about the age difference, she might. She has a lot of life ahead of her, and I don’t want to keep her from any experiences she may want to have. I’d beignorant to dismiss all that comes with an age gap of twenty one years.
Like kids. Does she want them? I realize I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m not getting any younger and the thought of sending a kid off to college at the age of sixty… doesn’t fill me with excitement. I thought I wanted them once, but I don’t know what the fuck I want anymore. I know I want to give her everything she’s ever wanted, just to see her happy, but realistically, she may not wantmelong enough to see it through. That’s a depressing fucking thought.
A knock raps at my window, pulling me out of my internal doom spiral, and I look up to see Hayes staring at me in confusion. He gives me awhat the fucklook and I shut the car off and step out.
“Wanna tell me why you’re sitting in your car, daydreaming in the middle of the afternoon? Axel said you’ve been out here for twenty minutes.” He regards me for a long moment. “Is this going to be a frequent thing? Because this isn’t the first time I’ve had to bring you back to Earth like this.”
“What the fuck do you care?”
“Excuse me. I’m so sorry for coming to check on my best friend, who’s been sitting in his car outside ourplace of business, staring into space like he’s in a fucking coma,” he scoffs. He’s right. I’m an asshole.
“Sorry,” I apologize. “I could use a drink. Let’s go inside.”
Hayes follows me through the employee entrance as we head to the bar. “Want one?” I ask, pouring myself two fingers of Macallan.
“Wow. You’re pulling out the expensive bourbon. You must be in crisis mode.” I stare at him, still waiting for his answer.
Is it expensive? Yes. Do I care? Not really.
“Yea, pour me one too,” he answers. “There’s no way I’m letting you drink the good shit alone.”
I finish pouring and sidle up next to him. We both sit in silence as we staring blankly ahead and take a long pull. Damn. Worth every penny.
“What’s got you all up in your head?” Hayes asks, pausing for a beat, then answering his own question. “Let me guess... the girl.”
“I already told you, she’s not agirl. She’s twenty three.”
“Oh. Pardon me,” he laughs. “I must have gotten confused for a second, since you’re old as fuck and all, and they basicallyalllook like girls these days.”
“You’re not that far behind me,” I retort. It’s a weak as fuck comeback, I know.
“I’m apparently more mature, though.”
My expression turns serious as I picture my girl in my mind. “I think I’m developingfeelingsfor her, Hayes.” The admission feels an odd mix of strange and perfect on my tongue.
“Okay. I don’t know what to say.” That’s a first.
“Tell me I’m an idiot. She’s twenty one years younger than me, for Christ’s sake. She also happens to be my ex’s daughter,” I remind him. “Tell me how fucked up it is. Tell me what a fucking perverted creep I am.” I’m not usually this hard on myself. I’ve fucked and scened with younger women before, but I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m in her presence. When I’m with her, the whole world disappears.
“You’re definitely a pervert,” he jokes and I turn my head slightly, glaring at him. “But, since when did you start caring what other people think?”
That’s a great question.
“Since her,” I admit, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. “She’s invaded my life, in the best way. That makes me want to protect her at all costs. I don’t give a fuck what people think of me, but I do care whatshethinks of me.”
“Wait, aren’t you the one that madeherstay withyou?” he questions. “I don’t think that would classify as an invasion, sinceshe didn’t force any of this on you. There’s gotta be a better term for it. Oh, I’ve got it. Rogue encroacher.” He says the words with such force, clearly proud of himself.
