“Axel. Have you talked to Mom or been to see her recently?”
“Not in a while, no. Why? Is something wrong?” He asks with just a hint of sarcasm. I shouldn’t be surprised at his tone. I’m pretty sure my big brother doesn’t have the capacity to care about hurting other people’s feelings. Even his own family’s.
“Just the same old shit. Different day. It’s hard doing it all by myself, you know. She needs help around the house, help getting to doctor appointments, and help with her meds. Probably needs groceries, because–as you know–she’s not allowed to drive. The list goes on, but I need help.”
He lets out an irritated huff.
“I’m not convinced she actually needs half of what you think she does. She just knows how to pull on your heart strings,” he replies bluntly. “You need to stop fucking coddling her or she’ll just keep taking from you until there’s nothing left for anyone else.”
“Wow. Don’t hold back on me, Axel.” My tone is full of sarcasm, but deep down there’s a tiny part of me that knows he’s right. But it’s easy for him to say, when he’s free to do whatever he wants. “It’s not as simple as you make it sound and you know it.”
“It’s as simple as you want it to be, Arabella. You could always try setting her up on a dating site. Maybe that would get her off your case for a bit. She always used to perk up when she had a new man on her arm. How long has it been now? I can’t even remember the last one’s name, it’s been so long.”
I know his name. How could I forget? He left a mark when he walked away, and not just on mom. My heart feels heavy as I recall how nice he always was to me. He stood up for me a couple of times with her, which no one else ever had and his actions towards me were a stark contrast to her criticism. I still don’t know exactly what happened the night they broke up.
“Ryker–his name was Ryker and he left six years ago.” He was one of the good ones, that’s for sure.
“Maybe she needs another dude to keep her busy, if you know what I mean.”Gross.
“That’s disgusting.”
“Maybe so, but if you aren’t able to set some boundaries with her, it’s a viable backup plan. I gotta run though, sis. Love ya.” And then, he’s gone. He’s such a dick. I often find myself questioning how we’re even related. He’s so black and white about everything and I’m all feelings and sensitivity.
Glancing down at my watch, I see it’s already 3pm and I have three hours to get everything done before I have to be home toget ready for tonight’s fun. But I can’t seem to make myself put the car in reverse. Instead, I sit here frozen, chewing on my lip until it starts to bleed, trying to build up the courage to move.
You can do this Arabella. You’re strong, beautiful and smart. You can do this.Nothing a little positive self-talk can’t fix, right?
3
Ryker
Ipull up to Gravity to see Hayes is already here. We’ve been best friends for well over thirty years and despite him being a couple years younger than me, we’re practically brothers. When he asked me to invest in and co-own a kink club/bar combo five years ago, it was a no brainer. I trust him explicitly, so there were no financial concerns and if I’m being completely honest, I needed something to keep me busy. Going into business with my best friend gave me purpose. Something to focus on.
My parents had me at an older age, so I lost them not long after I became an adult. I’ve been on my own for a long time now. Have I dated? Yes. Has anything stuck? Obviously not. Hayes would tell you I’m choosing the wrong women, that I’m too picky. What the fuck does he know? He likes them all.
I used to date more, but my interest has waned over the years. It’s not for lack of trying. But every time I do, I get irritated when we inevitably don’t want the same things. Mostly, they want more from me than I’m willing, or able, to give them. I don’tneed a girlfriend or a wife anymore, because I’m married to my work. Gravity is my baby.
The day we laid eyes on this space, we knew it was meant to be. We found the old, abandoned church and saw unlimited potential. We added offices up in the old choir balcony and then renovated the main floor into bar seating and placed the actual bar where the altar used to be. It's a straight up, high-end bar and we cater to mostly wealthy clientele. It’s expensive and exclusive, although membersareallowed to bring a guest. Up above, we built offices, so we can always look down and see what’s going on.
Most people use the bar as a way to relax before entering the club, but we do have rules for that, including a two-drink maximum. We learned quickly that it was difficult to keep track of consumption to prevent anyone from entering the club intoxicated, which is why there is now onlyoneaccess point. It took us a few tries, but we landed on everyone getting an electronic and highly coded wristband. Servers and bartenders are required to scan them before taking a drink orderandupon delivering it. And then it also gets scanned at the connection point, by a highly trained monitor that no one dares fuck with, before they enter the club. Clients can drink more than that if they choose, but if they do, theywillget denied. No wristband at all? Also denied.
It’s not a fool proof system by any means, but we do have eyes everywhere. If someone breaks the rules or tries to find a loophole, we almost always catch it. They may not realize it, but it’s for their own safety. Consent is important. If you’re impaired, you can’t consent. And if you can’t consent, you don’t get to play.
The things that happen beyond that door require a clear mind. If I had it my way, complete sobriety would be required to enter.But then I suppose I wouldn’t have anything to run if that were the case. If you can imagine it, it likely happens back there.
Downstairs we have a large open, almost anything goes, playspace that is also surrounded by various playrooms. Or you can wander down the long hallway to explore the old Catholic school that we’ve upgraded into specialty rooms.
We have something for everyone.
My personal favorite are the BDSM rooms, where Dominants take their submissives to play or scene in various ways, from rope play to impact play to whatever else they may enjoy. They’re my favorite, because I’ve been a Dominant for years now. I have a very Type A personality, which means I crave control in all aspects of my life, especially with my partners. I’ve triedvanillarelationships in the past and I always feel like something’s missing.
It’s been a long time since I’ve indulged in a Dominant-submissive dynamic with a woman, not for lack of trying. I find most who say they’re submissive turn out to be the opposite or worse, brats and I don’t tolerate brattiness in my submissives. I find it disrespectful. Most brats act out for attention, but I prefer to partner with adults that are able to communicate their wants and needs. My eyes instinctively roll backwards thinking about the various brats I’ve attempted to scene with. I found them to be irritating and grating to my nerves.
Occasionally, I will also take on a newer submissive, but it’s quite rare to find someone I feel I can scene with to get my fix. It’s not the same as owning my very own submissive that I can tease, control, fuck and sometimes hurt if I need to let my inner sadist out. It takes a considerable amount of mutual trust to engage in that kind of relationship and it’s one I don’t take lightly. It’s why I don’t fuck part time scene partners or those I’m helping to learn. I’ll still get them off, but I refuse to stick my dick in a submissive that isn’t whollymine.
I’m definitely not celibate, though. I have a select fewfuck buddiesthat know the score going in, although it’s been a while since I’ve entertained any of them. They, like me, don’t want anything more than the mutual satisfaction we provide each other. We understand each other's needs and fulfill them.
I’m unclear why, but I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that fire inside me that burns for another person. That need to spend every waking moment with them. The need to exchange power with them, where it fulfills us both.
