“Is there anything you can’t do?” I ask him.
The fucker actually chuckles. “There’s lots I can’t do, actually. Are you hungry?”
“Yes, please. I’ll just have some scrambled eggs and fruit.”
Turning to face me, his eyes look like the literal ocean in the light of the morning sun and it takes my breath away. He slides a plate in front of me with eggs, fruit, sausage and toast. I’m feeling bold, so I slide the plate back towards him.
“Something wrong?” he quirks a brow.
“I said just eggs and fruit please.” We stare each other down and I can feel my cheeks heat under his gaze.
“I heard you. Eat,” he commands.
“No,” I insist, refusing to give in.
He slowly crosses his arms over his broad chest and I catch his jaw tick. Apparently, he’s not going to give in either. He proves me wrong when he relaxes and gestures to the couch. “We should talk.”
Moving from the barstool, I pull at the hem of my shirt as I tuck my legs underneath my butt to sit on the couch. He sits in the leather chair to the right of me and lets out a heavy sigh. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m just not that hungry. I don’t need all that food.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. You’re upset about last night. I’m sorry if I hurt you, but it’s really not a good idea.” Okay. He’s going there.
What he doesn’t know is with all the research I did last night, I know what I want now. “It’s fine. I understand. I did what you asked last night. I researched practically all night and I know that I want to learn and try this now. I’ll go elsewhere, if I have to. I’m sure I can find someone at the club willing to teach me. Maybe I can ask Hayes. He seems nice.”
I risk a glance at him and his pupils are blown wide. So wide, I can hardly see the crystal blue of his irises. There’s now also a bulging vein in his forehead that I hadn’t noticed before.Yikes.
19
Ryker
Over my fucking dead body will she find someone else toteachher how to be submissive. There is zero chance I’ll be letting that happen. But before I let her in on that revelation, I need to know why she wants this.
“Why do you want this so bad?” My voice is deeper now, and I think my heart just skipped a beat. Her eyes move back to the floor, but before she can speak, I stop her. “You’ll look at me when you speak to me.”
Shifting her eyes back up to meet mine, she wets her lips, visibly swallows and I can see the vulnerability written all over her face.
“My whole life, I’ve given everything I have to people around me. All I do is put everyone’s needs ahead of my own, especially mom’s. So much so that sometimes, I forget to take care of myself. I run myself ragged, I’m always on the go and I’m tired. I’m also emotionally deficient. I never got to be a teenager, which meant I grew up so fast that I never really lived my life, when that should have been my only job. Sexually, all I do ishave one night stands, and my search for someone to take charge in the bedroom, which is precisely what almost got me assaulted. I want to know how to do things safely. I want to know how it feels to let someone take the lead, even outside of the bedroom. I want to rid myself of the pressure that’s literally been building all my life. Something has to change, and this is what I believe will help me do that. I have to try.”
Fuck.
I had no idea.
“Tell me more,” I press.
“Mom fell and hit her head. She has a lot of doctor appointments she needs help getting to and she can’t drive because her head is all messed up. She needs my help–a lot. I have no clue where my brother even is, not that he’d help me if I did. None of that is going to go away if you do this for me, but maybe it would allow me to breathe a little. As for everyone else, it’s not one thing specifically. But any time someone needs something, it’s like I can’t say no.”
I was so sure I was the wrong person to help her. I’ve even listed the reasons why it shouldn’t be me, but maybe Iamthe man for the job. If she really wants this, I know I can help relieve that pressure. I see other things though, that she clearly doesn’t, like her very apparent body image issues, and maybe that’s just another reason Ishouldhelp her.
One thing’s for certain, I can’t let her go to someone else and she’s already proven that her decision making capabilities are questionable, at best. I look in her eyes and see the sincerity in them. I guess we’re doing this.
“You’re crazy if you think I’ll allow you to find someone else,” I growl. “Not. Happening.”
“But–”
“I’m not done,” I pause for effect. “I was in the process of telling you, itwillbe me that’ll be helping youlearnhow tobe submissive. Although, I do have a suspicion that it already comes more naturally to you than you realize.”
Her eyes light up as her lips turn into an excited smile as the reality of what I’m saying sets in. The joy on her face is beautiful and it makes me want to give her everything if it means I can see it more.
