"How could she ever come to love me? After all that I have done…why would she sign up for that?"
"Because," Brys says from the doorway, "I'm a crazy woman."
22
THE BREAKING
BRYS
"And on that note, I'm going to leave you two alone to talk." Sophia rises and crosses the room, stopping in the doorway beside me. "He does have a heart in there, I promise. I'm hoping you're the woman to help him find it."
"How is Nico?" I ask.
She winces. "Out of surgery and resting. He'll make a full recovery, but it'll take time."
"And Pugli? Any word on him?"
A shake of her head. "No. He's in the wind. Sol went back and found tire tracks. He'd stashed a car. Sol followed the tracks to the road but lost them at the blacktop.”
"Lovely."
"We will find him. It's only a matter of time, now." She squeezes my shoulder. "Be patient with him."
I grin. "I'm here, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are." She smiles, squeezing my shoulder again before moving on. "And I'm glad."
With Sophia gone, I take the seat. Jakob is watching me intently, curiously—and with trepidation. "You're back," he says.
"I told you I was coming back."
He nods, but seems to find it hard to speak. "I know."
"Do you have any more secrets?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "No. I…no. No more secrets."
"Then it's my turn." I am utterly terrified, and it's hard enough to let myself show him that, let alone say everything there is to say.
"Brys, you don't have to tell me anything."
"I appreciate you saying that. But I do." I pause, shake my head. "No, that's not true. I don'thaveto; Ichooseto."
"Why?" His voice is low, rough. Not at all his usual smooth, velvety, dark tone.
"You want to get into that first, huh?" I sigh, nod. "Okay, fine. Because you challenge me. You scare me. You confuse me. You make me feel safe. When I was with you, when we were running for our lives together, I was so scared. Obviously. But you…you made me feel safe." I have to shut my eyes to find the rest. "Why? Because I've never met anyone like you. You understand me. You're not intimidated by me. I'm…I'm a strong woman, Jakob. I'm loud. I'm opinionated. I'm powerful. I'm wealthy. I wield a lot of authority. No other man I've ever met has been able to accept that I am all of those things and not…" I let out a breath, hunting for the right words. "And not get intimidated, not—not feel like I threaten their masculinity. Just the wealth aspect alone is too much for most guys I've dated. I don’t give a shit about money. It doesn't impress me. I don't care about a stock portfolio or investment profile. You're not going to impress me with your knowledge of financial products, how many houses you own, or how many hypercars are in your garage. But then again, Iamused to a certain lifestyle. I care about appearances. I care about first impressions. I'm not easy to impress, to be honest." I clear my throat. "The brutal truth is that I don't like most men. I do like Charles, though, my ex. He’s the only man I've ever dated that I've come to respect."
"Then why is he your ex?"
"We aren't suited, romantically. He…we…" I let out a breath. “I had a whole speech laid out, dammit, and you're derailing it."
"I'm sorry. I'll be quiet and let you speak."
"No, I…we broke up because I need someone who can take charge without shutting down who I am, and that's not Charles. He liked that I'm bold and in charge. He liked that I instigated sex. Sorry, that's—"
"No apologies," he says. "Just the truth."
I nod. "That's the truth. I was unsatisfied. I loved him, emotionally. I suppose some part of me still does and always will care about him. But I…we weren't…." I cover my face. "It feels shallow to say this, and I never did say it to him, but the honest truth is that I was unsatisfied sexually." I cackle, a hand over my mouth. "God, it feels good to admit that out loud. I've never told anyone that."
