She nods, smirking."The female version of mansplaining.Where you ask a simple question and get a really long and overly thorough answer."
I arch an eyebrow at her."I see."
"I'm teasing, Mom.But I'm telling the truth, okay?I understand what you're saying.I get it.If anything happens with Grayson, it'll be on my terms and at my pace.But Grayson is super nice, so I don't think it'd be a problem.I just have to get him to ask me out."
I snort."That shouldn't be hard."
"You don't know Grayson.He's really, really shy.I'm like ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure he likes me, he's just too shy to approach me."
“So take pity on the poor guy and ask him out.You're kind of intimidating sometimes, Mal.And if he's shy anyway?"
She frowns."That's not…weird?"
"No it's not weird!Why should we have to wait for men to get their heads out of their butts?They're clueless most of the time.”
"So you think I should ask him out?"
I shrug."If you're interested in getting to know him and spending time with him, then yes."
She blinks at me."So, question.You're…you're not gonna bring Coach Austinhere, are you?"she asked."Like, I'm not gonna come home early from school one day because I'm sick and walk in on you guys doing it on the couch or whatever?"
“I'll make sure that doesn't happen, okay?"I hesitate.“But, um, if…if hewereto be here when you woke up one morning…some day, possibly…how would you feel?"
She thinks about it for a long time."I'd be okay with it, as long as he's, like, clothed.To some degree, at least."
I snort."Well, yeah.And I'm not saying that's gonna happen any time soon.I wouldn't do that unless I'm sure about things, and Iampretty sure about things with Noah, but it's still early days."
"Mom?"she touches my lips."I get it.I like Coach Austin.I'm good with you and him being together as long as he treats you well."
I think about last night and this morning, and I can't help biting my lip."Oh, he does."
Mallory screeches and lurches off the couch, shaking her hands in horror."Aaaaaand that's enough, ew, ew, ew, ew,ew!”
I laugh."Not what I meant, Mallory."
She heads upstairs, not looking at me."I saw the look on your face.It issoexactly what you meant, and I donotwant to know anything else.If you're happy, I'm happy."
"That's my line!"I call after her.
Alone once more, I check my phone—still no answer from Noah.
He's just busy, that's all.He's a fire captain.
I know it's true, but my stupid brain keeps trying to feed me other scenarios all night, preventing sleep until the wee hours of the morning.
The good thing about the lack of a return message is that it gives me plenty of time to really think about my panic surrounding what Noah wanted to do.
And think I do.I just don't come up with any answers to the problem.
Of all the nasty, mean, cruel, horrible things Kevin said to me before the divorce, his comments aboutthatcut the deepest.
Why, I don't know.I'm sure once I get into it with Noah, I'll understand it more—talking to him has that effect.
I just hope I get to talk to him soon, because he's literally all I can think about.
And dream about.
Fantasize about…
Daydream about…
I eventually fall asleep with Noah on the brain.
