"But you're hanging out?"
"My generation would say that we're seeing each other.But even that is…we've only been on one date."
"But you spent the night with him," she points out."That's not nothing."
"Mal, I told you, I fell asleep on the couch.That's it."Mostly.
She quirks an eyebrow at me."Alone?"I don't answer, and she cackles, pushing at me playfully."See!Mom, you don't have to be all goody-goody for me.I'm seventeen, not seven.You're allowed to have a boyfriend.You're allowed to spend the night with your boyfriend."
"Mal, I just—"
"Youdeserveit, Mom.And especially with Coach Austin—he's a great guy."She flaps her hands at her face."Too bad I'm too young for Noel, though.That man is sex on toast."
I gasp."Mallory Wheeler!"
She shrugs, eyes wide and innocent."What?He is!Even you have to agree that he's hot A-F."
"Even me?What does that mean?"
"Well, you're dating—sorry,seeinghis dad."
I laugh."Oh.Well, yeah.But…okay, fine, yes, I have eyes.Noel Austin is a very attractive young man."
Mal snorts."Dear god, Mother.What are you, ninety?A very attractive young man?He’s thirty-two!It's okay to just admit that he's sex on toast."
"I don't know what sex on toast even means, for one thing.And for another, you have to understand that your tastes change as you age.Yes, Noel is objectively hot and I can admit that.But I look at him and I see a young man—not a kid, just…someone who's younger enough than me that I just don't see him as an object of desire.And not because I’m seeing his father.Or notjustbecause."
"I don't have that problem.I'd climb him like a tree, if I could."
"MALLORY!"I yell.
She shies away, cringing."Mom, you're shrieking.Dear Jesus.It was a joke, calm down."
"Joke or not, he's twice your age.I've only ever met him in passing and I doubt very strongly he's the type, but you need to stay very far away from him, if that's what's going on in your head."
"Mom—"
"He may be attractive.He may have been one of the great hockey players of all time, or whatever.He may be a valuable member of this community.All of that is true.But you are absolutely unequivocally not to flirt with him, or have a moment of witty banter, or anything of the sort.You're seventeen and he's a grown ass man.That's hard no, Mal."
She rolls her eyes."Iknow, Mom.I get it.He's hot, yes, but I wouldn't actuallydoanything.He's too old."
"So when you said you'd climb him like a tree…"
“I wasjoking, Mother.If I was going toactuallyclimb anyone like a tree, it'd be Grayson Williams."
"Something to share?"
She shakes her head."No, just a crush.Grayson has some work to do if he wants my attention, anyway.”
I turn to her, take her hands."I don't know if I said it when we talked the other day, but I'm proud of you for standing your ground and not letting him pressure you into something you weren't ready for.And just so it's crystal clear, behavior like Heath's is absolutely unacceptable under any circumstances."
"Yes, Mom.Iknow.You said all this already, and Ipromise, I get it.”
“I repeat myself because I had to figure it out for myself…the hard way.I don't want that for you."
She rolls her eyes."You can stop she-laborating, now.I understand."
I blink at her.“She-laborating?"
