Well, this is tricky.I'd love nothing more than to see her, obviously, but I invited Noel over, and I can't just kick him out because I've suddenly got something better to do.
Something better came up than hanging out with her super cool mom?
Right?Shocking, I know.I'm not mad about it.She's 17.A movie with Mom is cool, but all your friends getting together for mani-pedis is better.
She's a lucky kid.Probably doesn't realize it yet, but she will someday.
You're sweet.So…what is it the kids say these days?Netflix and Chill?
I think that means something specific.
I'm being cautious—I know exactly what it means, as Noel explained it to me once.
Yes, it does.
I glance at Noel, and he's eyeing me with a sly smirk."Something to say, son?"
"You're texting and grinning," he says."You make a new friend?"
"Something like that."
He's polished off a second bowl already and pauses, looking at me speculatively."Wait, hold up.Hold up.Dad, are you…seeingsomeone?"
"Sort of.Maybe.I dunno.We're…it's…" I shrug, at a total loss for how to talk about this with my son.
He sets the ladle back down."I just remembered I forgot something at the station."
I roll my eyes."Noel, you don't have to—"
He stands behind me and claps me on the shoulders."Dad, this is agoodthing.I want you to be happy."
"You wouldn't feel like I was…" I trail off, shrugging.
“Trying to replace Mom?"he fills in, swallowing hard for a moment before shaking his head; he leans onto the counter beside me, looking at me."No, I wouldn't think that.For one, I'm thirty-three, not thirteen.I know you loved and adored Mom.I know you were a thousand percent dedicated to her while she was alive.But it's been three years, Dad.You're allowed to find happiness again.And I honestly believe Mom would have wanted that for you, too."
I'm free.I'd love to see you.I just need a couple of minutes.I'll call you.I send the message to Morgan, and a few seconds later she gives the message a thumbs-up; I set the phone down and refocus on Noel.
I fiddle with the label on my empty beer bottle, ripping it off in shredded pieces, which I pile on the counter."Before she passed, your mom actually…" I bobble my head side to side, working to contain the emotions that come with this whole topic."She made me promise I would."
He frowns."Wait, what?She did?"
I nod."Yeah.She made me promise that after a certain period of time, I'd move on and find someone else.I just haven't been ready till now.I'm still not sure Iamready.I don't know if I everwillbe or how to tell, y'know?I just know that I like this person a lot."I hold up my phone."We're just…exploring things, right now."
He juts his chin at my phone."She wants to hang out?"
I nod."But Noel, she and I can—"
"Absolutely not.You know I love hanging out with you, but there's plenty of time for that later.Maybe I'll join you for a skate tomorrow morning.I'll drill you on your backhander."
My backhand shot has always been low, weak, and inaccurate.I've got a killer forehand, but my backhand sucks.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm ditching you or kicking you out, Noel."
He squeezes my shoulders."I don't, Dad.I promise.Besides, I was just here for the chili."He laughs and hugs me from behind and then heads for the door."Tomorrow morning at the rink?Six?"
"Sounds good to me.Love ya, son."
"Love you too, Pops.Tell Morgan I said hi."
