"How dare you use my own words against me?"I say, droll and deadpan."Fine.He honked my boob."
She splutters."Honked?hehonkedit?"I demonstrate on her—she cackles and bats my hand away."Okay, yeah, nope, not doing that again."
"Exactly!"
"But you're just being funny, right?That's not how he actually did it."
“No, that’s what happened.”
"Was it his first time touching a tit?Like, at no point in his life did anyone ever tell him it's not sexy to honka-honka the boobies?”
I snort at her turn of phrase."Clearly not.That was it for me."
"The Ick," she says, again sounding sage and wise, nodding knowingly.
"The Ick," I agree."And boy, that's a major Ick."
“Something tells me Coach Austin won't honk your boobs."
"I wouldn't think so, no.Assuming we get that far—and no, I will not be confiding in you if and when that does happen because I have my limits, and gossiping about the details of my sex life with my daughter is one of them."
"I guess that's fair, and I honestly don't think I really want to know those kinds of details about my mother."
I laugh and squeeze her again before letting go."Glad we agree."
She nods, and then grabs my wrist before I can walk away."Mom?"
I turn back."Yeah, baby."
"I think you should go out with him."
"I'm thinking about it, sweetheart.I've just been hurt a lot.What happened with your father really…it left a lot of scars, emotionally.It's really,reallyhard to open up again after something like that."
"Obviously, since you've kissed two men in eighteen years."
"Three.I went to a New Year's Eve party two years ago, and a random tourist kissed me when the ball dropped."
She rolls her eyes.“Not what I mean."
I sigh."I know."
She stands up and kisses my cheek."We both gotta be brave, I guess, huh?"She heads for the stairs.
"There's no rush to get back out there, you know," I call after her from the bottom of the stairs.
"For me, no."She hangs over the railing at the top of the stairs to look at me upside down."For you?Maybe a little bit of a rush.Y'know.Considering."
"Are you calling me old, Mallory Morgan Wheeler?"
She holds her forefinger and thumb an inch apart, and then makes a heart with her fingers and mouthsI love you.
I shake my head, chuckling to myself as I wipe down the counters, wash the stockpot, and shut the kitchen down."Little bit of a rush, my ass," I mutter."I'mnotold."
But yet in the back of my mind, there's a little voice whispering that maybe I shouldn't wait around thinking too long.I'm less than eighteen months away from my fiftieth birthday.
Fifty!Half a century.
The last time I had sex, the iPhone 3G was the big thing, Obama was campaigning,Sasha Fiercewas the big album of the year, way back when albums were still a thing…
