Her cheeks flame, and she looks away."I told you what happened."
"You told memostof what happened.Not everything."
"You had a hard enough time with what Ididtell you."
"Mal."
"Mom."
"Mal."
"I told you he was pressuring me to sleep with him."She pauses, intently not looking at me."Which was true."
"But?"
"We started having sex, and I freaked out.He didn't want to stop."
"Mal—" I shake my hands, palms facing her."That's atotallydifferent thing, Mallory Wheeler!"
“No, it's not!Hedidstop.Eventually.”A sharp sigh.“I just…I had to get a little aggressive to make him understand I was serious.He thought I was playing a game or something."The last part comes out quiet and shaky.
"No, honey, he didn't," I say gently."That's just the excuse he used."
She shifts uncomfortably on the chair."Maybe."
"No, sweetheart, not maybe—yes.One hundred percent.Stop meansstop—immediately, no questions asked.It doesn't matter if he was a single heartbeat away from coming—if you say stop, it stops right then."
"I know, Mom."
"No, you don't.Clearly, you don't.You're making excuses for him.If you said stop and he did literallyanythingother than stop instantly, then it's sexual assault."
"Mom, that's a little—"
"Factual.It's binary, honey.It's yes or no.You want it, or you don't.You didn't.And it's your absolute right to call a stop at any point, for any reason, and you don't have to give a reason.Four letters and one syllable is all you ever need, Mallory—stop.He didn't justpressureyou; if what you're telling me now is the full truth.You may not want to go so far as to call it rape, because you started out agreeing and maybe even wanting to do it."
"I changed my mind," she whispered."I realized I wasn't ready.It wasn't…it wasn't long.Like…" she sniffles, shakes her head."I can't."
"Tell me, honey.The whole, horrible, uncomfortable truth."
"I liked kissing him.I liked…getting to second base."
"Mal, use grown-up words, okay?Say it how it is.No euphemisms.Don't make it cute.Be real with me.Please."
"We took it slow, for a while.It seemed like he was okay with it.Just kissing.Hand holding.That stuff.Kid stuff more or less, I guess."
“That's not kid stuff, that's new relationship stuff and it's important, but continue."
"I was into it.The touching was kind of weird at first.Like, when we were making out, it was fun getting carried away, y'know?I was nervous and a little scared when he suggested that we were ready to go all the way, because I wasn't sure I actually was ready.But I liked Heath a lot.I thought—I…I thought…"
"It's what you were supposed to do?"
She nods."Yeah.I guess."
"That's a normal way to feel, honey.It's confusing.It can be hard to separate societal expectations from what we really want.Especially as women."I move around and stand behind her, arms around her neck."Keep going.What happened next?"
She sniffles again, shakes her head again."I told him I wanted to think about it.Which was true.He just…he kept pressuring me.That was also true.Once we got past a certain point, like…Once I let him touch me under my clothes, he wasrelentlessabout going further.Every time we were alone, he'd get handsy and want to make out and try to get me out of my clothes, and I…I felt like…" she shrugs, at a loss for words.
“Like you had to?Like you couldn't say no?Like by letting him touch you, you'd given him carte blanche permission to keep touching you whenever he wanted?Like by letting him touch you, you were making him an unspoken promise that you'd have sex with him?"
