"Yes, we exchanged numbers.I'm sure I'll see him again at some point, but we didn't make any plans."
"But the kiss, Mom.How was it?You only went out with Charlie Cousins once, right, so you must not have kissed him.Are you shook?You look shook."
I did a bit more than just kiss Charlie Cousins, but I'm not about to tell her that.
She's too damned insightful, however."Wait.Didyou kiss Charlie Cousins?"
Charlie is a few years younger than me, and he's a planning engineer for the city.When we went out, I was forty-three, and he was thirty-seven.He's attractive, in a chinos-and-plaid sort of way…and that way is too much like my ex, which in hindsight is likely why it went nowhere.
Well, partially, at least.
I shrug."That was a long time ago."
"Mom, c'mon."
“Okay,fine!”I snap.“Yes, I kissed Charlie Cousins.”
She's a dog with a bone, I tell you."But?You're not saying something, I can feel it in my nuggets."
I frown at her, snorting a laugh."You can feel it in your nuggets?"
"Surf's Up, Mom.Obvi."
"Oh, the surfing penguins movie you were obsessed with when you were little."I sigh."There are some things I'm not going to tell you, since we have to have some boundaries as mother and daughter.But…yes, we kissed.And maybe it progressed a little faster than I was ready for and I freaked out."
"Ohhhhh, I see, I see."She sounds so sage and aware.
"Doubtful."
“Then explain."
I think about it, but shake my head."I dunno, Mal.I feel weird having this kind of conversation with you."
"But you wouldn't feel weird asking me about it if I started dating some guy."
"Are you?"I ask.“Seeing someone?"
She rolls her eyes."No, Mom, I'm not.After Heath, I decided to take some time away from boys."
Heath, her ex-boyfriend, spread rumors about her around school—false and disgusting rumors—because she shut him down when he pushed her to sleep with him.Mal had to physically restrain me from slapping the shit out of him at PT conferences.And just for the record, yes, it's totally coincidental that his boss at the lumber mill found out about what he'd done, fired him, and had him blacklisted from getting a job at every business in town.He's currently bussing tables at a diner forty-five minutes from Tomlin Falls because no one around here will hire his punk ass.
But I had nothing to do with that.I swear.
I'm just saying, don't fuck with a single mama.Especially not single mamas with a penchant for creative vengeance.
My shitbag of an ex, for example.Someday, he may find out that the super expensive golf clubs he loved so much weren’t stolen or lost while he was packing up to move, as he assumed: I sold them on Craigslist and used the money to get some brake work done on Cherry.And before you go whining about stealing or whatever, they were a gift from me for our anniversary.Also, he's a terrible golfer.Just saying.
"Heath," I grumble."Fucking loser."
She grins, shaking her head and sniffing a soft laugh."I'm pretty sure he knows it was you who got him blacklisted in town, but he can't prove it."
"I didn't blacklist anyone."
"So the fact that his former boss just happens to be the mayor's brother and co-chair of the town council is just a coincidence?"
"Yup."
"The mayor…who is your best friend?"
