“I'm almost eighteen, and I've never known you to even go on a date."
It's my turn to roll my eyes."Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean it didn't happen."
"Okay, so when was the last date you went on?"
"Um."I know exactly, so why am I pretending to have to think about it?I'm being ridiculous."Five years.I went out on a date with Charlie Cousins while you were on that overnight trip to Juneau in eighth grade."
"Mom!"she exclaims.
"What?"I ask, genuinely puzzled as to why she’s yelling.
"Five years?"She exclaims, louder than before."You haven't even been on a date infive years?"
“Yes, Mal."
"Why not?You're beautiful, you own your own business, and you're cool as hell.How are the men not tripping over themselves to get with you?"
"Cool as hell?"
"For the purposes of this conversation, yes.If you bring it up around my friends, I'll deny ever saying it."She holds a straight face for a moment before bursting into laughter."I'm kidding.Yes, Mom.You're cool."
"No teenager thinks their parent is cool."
She shrugs."I'm not most teenagers."
"I guess not."I sigh, thinking carefully about what to say to my daughter.
I dump the leftovers into the container, seal the lid, and stuff it in the fridge, and then lean on the counter opposite Mal as she finishes eating."Listen, honey.I…there are a lot of reasons why I don't date.No, it's not for lack of interest.Jukebox Jackson, for example."
Mal cackles."Okay, I like Jukebox as a person, but just no…for a lot of reasons.”
"Exactly."I shake my head, shrug."I've been asked out a few times.I just …"
She pushes her empty bowl away and turns toward me."Men are dicks?"
I sigh, nodding."More or less, yes."
"Coach Austin isn't a dick."
"Mal—"
"Mom.Heobviouslylikes you.Youobviouslylike him.I'm not a child anymore.I'm not gonna get all attached and then be heartbroken if it doesn't work out.Also, you're not your mom."
That last part hits like a freight train."Wisdom from my seventeen-year-old child," I mutter.
"Why can't you just see what happens?You don't have to hide it from me.If you don't want to talk to me about it, I get it.But talk tosomeone.Just don't…" She shrugs, searching for what to say."Don't let a good thing go because you're worried about me or my reaction.I want you to be happy."
My eyes sting."God, Mal."
She leans into me, hugs me."Iloveyou, Mom.You've worked your ass off my whole life to take care of me.But now it's time for you to do things for yourself."She kisses my cheek and then whispers in my ear."Like make out with Coach Austin in our garage."
"I wasn't—" I start, and then stop myself; lying to my child is a bad habit, and one I'm not keen on starting now."Fine.Wemayhave kissed."
Mal squeals."And?"
I sigh; it feels weird to share this with my daughter; I love the hell out of her, obviously, but I've always tried to maintain a clear line between mother and friend; this is muddying that boundary."And what?That's it.We kissed, and he left."
"Did you get his number?Are you gonna see him again?Is he taking you on a real date?"
