Her eyes widen.“Oh.Ohhhhh.”We have a small but noticeable population of roughnecks who spend their time on dry land in Tomlin Falls.They're…a unique bunch.They're good men, for the most part; they just definitely fit the term.
"Slade was a caricature," I say."Built like an industrial freezer.Blonde ponytail, blonde beard which he also wore in a ponytail, or whatever you call it when it's a beard.He was a biker.Definitely a Lonergan's type."
Mal looks at me as if seeing me in a whole new light."Mom, dude."
"What?"
"I just…I've never seen you with a man, so it's hard to picture it at all, let alone a guy like that."
"Oh, I was an old lady for a while."
She frowns."Huh?An old lady?This was when you were, what?Early twenties?”
“It’s a biker term.Means I was the official girlfriend of a full-patch member of a motorcycle club.”
Her eyes go wider."Seriously?You were in a biker gang.”
“Club, notgang, but yes.”I nod."Had my own cut and everything."Before she can ask, I explain."The leather vest with the club logo patch on the back."
She shakes her head, clutching her temples in both hands."My brain is legit exploding right now."
"I drank hard, got in fights, rode on the back of Slade's bike, and hung out at Longergan's."I shrug."He's how I ended up here in Tomlin Falls, as a matter of fact.I met him at a dive bar on the highway an hour outside Nome.I had a bad practice and drove out of the city to get some breathing room, and ended up there because I was hungry.He was hot and I was lonely and he hit on me, so…" I shrugged."I spentso many hourson the back of that bike, Mal.Slade was…he was complicated.He was a wild man in every sense of the word.Hated to be indoors.Could barely stand being in a car.I think something traumatic happened to him to make him that way, but he never told me what, if so.We crisscrossed most of Alaska and much of Canada.Days on end in the saddle.Shitty hotels and motels.More than a few times, we'd put up this little pup tent he had, and we'd sleep by a fire just off the highway."
She shakes her head again."What thefuck, Mom?Youwere a badass biker chick?"
I laugh."I dunno about badass, but yeah.I was a biker chick."
"Geez.I don't know what to do with this information."She looks at me."I almost hesitate to ask what happened to him.”
I snort."He got offered a job as a foreman on a rig down in the Gulf.He went, I stayed."
She frowns."It sounds like kind of a fun life.Why'd you stay?"
I frown back, thoughtfully."Itwasfun, most of the time.But it's…a rough life.It's not for everyone.And they were a real-deal MC that did stuff that I wasn't totally on board with.But the real reason I stayed when Slade left was honestly Slade himself.He was complicated, like I said.He could be so sweet, so loving, funny, and loyal.He never cheated on me, and in that world, it's sort of acceptable to fuck around on your old lady, if your old lady is the kind to let you get away with it.I wasn't, and he knew it, and he didn't.But he was a hard drinker, and he had a hell of a temper.It usually showed up as fistfights with the other guys, but occasionally, I’d catch a slap."
She inhales sharply."Hehityou?"
"A few times, yeah.You gotta remember, I grew up seeing that.Mom's boyfriends weren't always nice, like I said.So it wasn't…abnormal, in my mind.It also wasn't a regular occurrence, so it was easier to excuse.”I shake my head."I'm different, now.It's never, ever, fuckingeverokay, Mal.Just so that's clear.A guy even physically intimidates you, you ghost his ass so fast his head spins.Hear me?"
Mal snickers, and it's a kind of wicked sound."Mom, a guy will only ever evenlookat me crosswaysonce.Trust."
I laugh."Good.Glad that's clear."I go on, because I can't stop now."So that's Slade."
"Do you still have the…what did you call it?Cut?"
I cock my head."I think so?"
"Can I see it?"
"Sometime, yeah."A shrug."So.I was single for a while after Slade.Reoriented my life."
"Wait…what about skating?I thought you made the Olympics or something."
"I qualified, but never got to compete."
"Why?"
"Your father.That's why."
