She kisses the corner of my mouth, the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my eyes, each kiss delicate and soft and warm."It's okay to be mixed up about that, Noah.I understand."
I shake my head, eyes burning."I—"
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the burn.I don't do this.But here it is."Sorry I'm—I…"
Her lips touch my eyes, kiss away the hot salt."Sssshhh, Noah.It's okay.It's okay.I understand."She straddles me again, giving me all of her weight, pressed flush against me from toes to forehead, warm skin sliding on mine, breasts firm buttons between our bodies, lips kissing my eyes, my cheeks, the side of my nose near my tear ducts, my forehead."Let it all go, Noah.I can take it."
I shake my head."Can't.Can't."
Her lips touch my ear."Have you?"
“Have I what?"
"Let yourself cry?"
"Back then, yeah.Some."
"Feel it, Noah.Don't hide it.Don't ignore it."She pulls away."Look at me, honey."
Her thumbs swipe under my eyes."You can trust me with it."
"I don't…I don't know where this is—" I squeeze my eyes shut and try to look away, mortified to the point of speechlessness.
"Hey, hey, hey."Her voice is so tender it hurts."Don't hide it from me, Noah.It'sme.You think I don't understand?"
The ache in my soul explodes, cracks me open like an overripe melon.I'm utterly spent and ragged, and she's so soft and she's everywhere, and I feel her wrapped around me and tangled up into the core of my being, and I don't know what to do.
My shoulders shake.I feel my eyes leaking, and Morgan traces her thumbs under my eyes, crooning to me."That's it, honey.Let it all go.I've got you, too.That's how this works."
"I fucking loved her so much, Morgan," I hear myself say, voice cracking."How can—how can I feel this way for you, too?How can that be…" I shake my head."I didn't know it could be like that either."
"You loved your wife, Noah.That will never go away.It will never not be true."She cups my face."Listen to me, Noah.I don't want you to evernotfeel that love for her.I can't replace her and I'm not trying to.I can't.I don’twantto and I know that's not whatyouwant, either.This thing we have?It'sours, Noah.It doesn't change the past.It doesn't touch your love for Taylor.You can say her name to me.You can tell me about her."
"I just…what we had, Taylor and I…it wasso good, Morgan.Our whole marriage, I could never imagine how anything could be better than our chemistry."I shake my head, swallow hard."But that?You and me, just now?My god."
"I know," she breathes."Me too."
“I’m not comparing."
"I know.You don't have to explain."
"I'm just…"
She kisses my eyes again."I know, honey.I know.And it's okay."
"I'm mixed up because that was fucking…earth-shattering, Morgan."
"I can't feel my legs, still, Noah," she whispers."I'm gonna be walking funny for a while."
"Did I hurt you?"
She laughs."God, no.I've never felt this fucking amazing in my life.I feel free, Noah.You set me free."Her voice is quiet but quavering with intensity."It's—he’s…that awful voice is gone.All I hear is you, now."She nuzzles my jaw.“Should I be embarrassed?I went a little crazy, I think.I…I'm not normally that aggressive or…or demanding."
"No, you absolutely should not feel embarrassed.Morgan, that wasincredible.Do you have any fucking clue how you made me feel?"
She breathes on my ear."Yeah?How?"
"I don't know how to put it into words.The things you said to me?So fucking hot."
