He brushes a thumb over my lip."I don't want to pressure you or push you if you're not ready.But if it's something you'll never really be ready for, maybe I can help.Maybe I can…this feels a bit arrogant, but I'd like to think I can silence that voice of insecurity.That I can give youmyvoice instead, telling you how sexy you are.How beautiful you are.That you're perfect exactly as you are.I want to kiss and touch every inch of your incredible body.I want to get you out of your mind and make you justfeel.And I believe I can, Morgan.It'll require some courage and a lot of trust on your part, but I promise, you'll be in charge the whole time.Any time you want to stop, you won't even have to say the word, just push me away and that'll be that.I won't be upset, or frustrated, or anything."
"You…so, you wouldn't mind going over there for a little bit and then coming back here?"
"Anything you want, Morgan.Anything you need."
"You're too good to me."
He raspberries."First of all, no such thing.Second, that's ridiculous.You deserve everything and so much more."
I laugh at this."What's more than everything, Noah?"
"I dunno."He touches his lips to my ear, whispering."Maybe we just start with an orgasm or four."
"Four?"I squeak.
"At least."
"I'll settle for one."
"Do you remember the other night, Morgan?"
“Yes," I breathe."Vividly."
"I swear to you, I can make that seem like nothing."
"We just have to be back here before Mal."
"You have my word."
I step back and put my hand in his."Okay, then."
The drive to his house is brief and quiet, softened by an old Lady A song from the speakers and the occasional squawk of his radio—both at his shoulder and from the one mounted under his dash.
His boots creak on the wood of the deck as we ascend.The sky is clear and the air bitterly cold, the stars innumerable and brilliant.An owl hoots in the distance.The moon- and starlight glitters and shines silvery-blue on the snow blanketing the world.
His house is dark as we enter, the furniture dim shapes in the gloom.Instead of turning on the lights, he grabs a remote from the mantle and presses a button to turn on the gas fireplace.
I can see his bedroom from my vantage point in the living room—his bed is unmade.
Nerves rattle me.What happens next?Where do we start?
"You want a drink to settle your nerves?"Noah asks.
I shake my head."No amount of alcohol is going to do a damn thing for these nerves," I say, showing him my trembling hand."All alcohol will do is numb me and make it harder for me to…feel what I'm supposed to feel."
He follows my gaze to his bedroom, frowns, and leaves me to shut the door."We're not there, yet, Morgan.I'm not going to just throw you onto the bed and ravage you, alright?"
I sniff a sad laugh."The funny thing is, that's exactly what I want.Or, rather, what I wish I was ready for.Once upon a time, that's exactly what I'd be begging for."
Noah spreads a blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace and scatters throw pillows along the edge farthest from the fire.Takes a seat with his legs spread apart."C'mere."He pats the space between his legs.
With an odd reluctance, I move toward him.Settle on the floor in front of him, between his legs but not touching him.I jump when his hands rest on my shoulders.
"Hey, whoa.Morgan, breathe for me, sweetheart.We're just sitting in front of the fire.That's it."
"But I thought—"
He starts massaging my shoulders.His hands are so strong yet so gentle, his thumbs inerrantly finding knots and pressing into them, working them loose."You're tense, nervous, and wound up, Morgan."I open my mouth to reply but he keeps going, and I click my mouth shut."And that's totally normal and understandable.Expected, even.But did you think I was gonna, what?Just yank your clothes off and go to town?How well d'you think that would work?"
