Prologue
Noah
Iwatch my guys handle the incident, my mind only partially on the fire—it's a minor grease fire in the kitchen of Conrad's Cafe, a beloved local squat-and-gobble diner just south of town.Taylor hates it when I use that term, squat-and-gobble.
"I don't squat, and I don't gobble, Noah," she always insists.
The rest of my attention is where I should be—at the hospital, with Taylor, holding her hand while she waits for the results of the scans.She knows why I'm here and not there—it's the job.She's been my wife for thirty years, and I've been a firefighter my whole life—I joined the department as a volunteer literally the day I turned sixteen.I've missed birthdays, anniversaries, games, and dates.If that bell rings, I go.If my pager—and now my cell phone—goes off, I have no choice.
Including a day like today.I've often resented the always-on-call nature of the job—everyone who works in emergency services does, at some point—but never more so than today.
"Cap?"I hear Doug Hermann, my lieutenant and go-to second-in-command, at my side.
I force my full attention back to the guys, the fire."Yeah, bud."
He claps me on the shoulder."I've got this, Cap.It's almost under control.Go.Be with Taylor.She needs you."
My entire being strains toward her, but I hold it in check."When it's out, Doug."
Doug sighs."Stubborn old goat.We'vegotthis, Noah.It's a minor grease fire.Please, brother, just…go."
I look at him, one of my best friends for more than two decades.He's concerned.Hell, we all are.
Although in my case, “concerned” doesn't quite cut the fuckin' mustard.
I'm panicked.
Freaking out.
Desperate.
"Tay needs you, Noah.We don't.Not for this shit."He gestures at the building—there's barely even any smoke trickling out of the structure anymore.
I know Doug, and I know my guys, and I know they can deal with the wrap-up without me.I just don't like the idea of abdicating my responsibility.I'm Captain.I'm the IC—Incident Commander.This is my job.My role.My duty.Being a firefighter has come first, always, no matter what, for thirty-three years.I've never once left early, never once put anyone or anything before my responsibility to the people of Tomlin Falls, Alaska.
But this might be the first, the exception.
Doug moves in front of me and grabs my shoulders.His brown eyes are fierce and full of love."Noah, Jesus, brother.Fucking go!It'sTaylor.The fire is almost out.We can handle this shit in our sleep, and you know it.Go.Don't make me kick your ass."
I don't have it in me to argue any further—with him or myself."Alright, alright, I'm going.You're IC.Call me if you need me."
"You know I will."Doug squeezes hard, once."She'll be okay, man."
I hope so, too, but over the last couple of weeks, I've started to wonder.
At first, it was just a general malaise.Feeling yucky.Tired.Flu-like symptoms that wouldn't go away.
She got a cocktail of fluids and vitamins and such in an IV at the clinic, but that didn't touch it.
And then she got a nosebleed that just wouldn't quit.
Tender gums that started bleeding.
Sudden and extreme weight loss.
Achy joints.Pain deep in her bones.
Petechiae.
