7
Palmer
Istaredatmyunpackedsuitcase sitting propped open on the luggage rack at the end of the bed.
Roman had taken Hailey sledding, and though she had begged me to go with them, I’d declined. I wasn’t sure Roman wanted me tagging along during his time with his daughter, and I needed some time to think.
Last night, Roman had gone to drag my suitcase from my car while I drank the tea he’d given me. Now, it was taunting me. If I unpacked it, it meant that I planned to stay.
The room Roman had given me for the night was beautiful. The bedspread was thick and quilted, the kind of thing someone had chosen with care instead of grabbing off a shelf. It might have been handmade. The furniture was dark hardwood, gleaming in the soft light. Even the curtains seemed expensive—heavy and cream-colored, with a subtle pattern that reminded me of vines, or maybe waves.
I let out a heavy sigh and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Even that was pretty. The plaster had faint designs pressed into it—subtle swirls and shapes that resembled lace.
Only about twenty-four hours had passed since I’d been staring at a different ceiling in a different house. A ceiling I’d gotten used to and had started to feel like home after three years.
I hadn’t even been given the chance to say goodbye.
My chest tightened so suddenly it startled me. I pressed a hand over my sternum, rubbing hard, trying to ease the ache that Maverick left.
I wished I didn’t care so much. I hated that no matter how many times it happened, I never learned how to keep a safe distance.
Leaving always hurt. Always.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and Hailey’s face flashed behind my lids. I wasn’t worried about my safety if I accepted the job Roman was offering.
The serial killer—Amos Anderson, the Shadow Stalker—felt like a ghost story people whispered to scare one another. A monster in the background. A shadow that might or might not even be real anymore, at least not in a way that could touch me.
The real threat was my stupid, traitorous heart.
If I stayed here, if I moved into this house and became part of their routine…it wouldn’t be long before Hailey felt like mine in all the ways that mattered. It had taken her all of an hour to wrap herself around that soft place inside me.
I turned my head toward the window.
Outside, the world was white. Snow coated the branches of the trees and clung to the rooftops like frosting. The street was calm and quiet in a way that made everything feel softer. The storm had dumped a thick layer overnight, and even from here, I could tell the roads were still a mess.
I pictured my car sitting out there somewhere, half-buried. A pathetic little reminder that I still didn’t have a real place to go. No other home to take refuge in.
I let out a long breath, the air leaving my lungs like surrender. I didn’t have the luxury of being picky and afraid of attachment.
I knew, despite my fear, that I would take this job. What else was there for me? What else was I going to do? If anything, this job was a lifeline. An olive branch extended to me at a dire time. In many ways, it was more than I ever could’ve asked for.
Closing my eyes again, I gathered every last ounce of resolve I possessed. I placed both my hands on my chest, stacking them above my heart, and made a solemn promise to myself.
No matter what, no matter how hard it was, I was going to protect myself this time.
I would stay as long as I was allowed to and when it ended—because everything always ended—I would deal with the goodbye then.
I would leave with my heart intact.
WhileIwaitedforRoman and Hailey to return from their sledding trip, I forced myself to unpack my suitcase.
I had slipped off my sweater, baring my naked arms to the cool, dry air, and caught a glimpse of them in the mirror. I looked away immediately. They were ugly things. The mottled flesh had taken so long to recover after the fire.
My world had been turned upside down after that night. Instead of spending my time with my boyfriend and in classes, I was in hospitals and doctors’ offices and physical therapy.
I’d missed an entire year of school.
At first, my boyfriend was supportive. He visited me at the hospital and drove me to my appointments. However, when it became clear that I was never going to look the same, he couldn’t handle that reality and left.
