“That’s why they call it a parrotfish, buddy,” I said, pushing wet hair from my face.
Finn’s grin was infectious. “It’s just like the fish costume I’ll wear in the play. Mrs. Rodriguez said I could be the lead parrotfish! Chase, did you see it?”
Chase treaded water beside us, water streaming down his face. “Sure did. I think there’s a pufferfish down there too.”
We ducked our heads down and watched the brown-and-white puffer trundle along the reef. I let myself fall behind them just so I could observe as the sun bathed my back in warmth.
A sputter of bubbles interrupted the thought. Finn’s mask had leaked, filling with water, and he screwed his face up. Chase grabbed him, and we surfaced together. Chase fiddled with the strap, which had loosened, but couldn’t thread it back in.
Before I knew it, I was there, gently nudging Chase’s hands away. I reseated the mask with a practiced touch. “There you go.”
Chase watched me as we treaded water, his expression one of appreciation and something else—something that made me believe this could really work. His smile met mine, and my heart did another one of those squeezes. It was the briefest of exchanges, but in it, I felt the possibility of a future. It was terrifying and exhilarating and so, so real.
He winked. “I know when to give way to the real pro.”
We snorkeled our way back toward the shore, and the hopeful, fragile feeling expanded in my chest. When we walked out of the water, the sand was cool and powdery beneath our feet. We headed down the beach after Finn, a flutter of uncertainty still lodged in my chest. This day, this feeling—both seemed as precarious as the sandcastle that was next on the agenda. And yet, for the first time in a long time, I felt like it was worth the risk.
The sun hung high, casting short, sharp shadows as we kneeled around our sandy construction site in front of the bonfire area we Coleridges hung out at periodically. Buckets and shovels dotted the sand, evidence of our big plans. Finn, the enthusiastic foreman, issued orders. “More water. The tower needs shells!”
Chase saluted playfully. “On it, Chief!”
Finn directed traffic as I placed my latest batch of shell decorations on our wobbly towers. “Chase, you build the bridge. Mom, we need more!” His voice held no doubt that we’d keep up with his big vision.
Chase was right in his element, adjusting and reinforcing, drawing Finn into every decision. “These turrets need a wider base. See? We don’t want them toppling over, do we?” He moved with energy, his sandy hands never resting.
“They won’t do that.” Finn laughed, scooping and patting and imagining a world where this creation was a castle fit for a king—no, an emperor.
We worked side by side, Chase’s knee brushing mine, his eyes finding mine with that new, wonderful familiarity. Our gazes held for a long, beautiful moment. We broke into smiles that felt as wide and bright as the sky above us. I stood and went for more shells, the wind carrying Finn’s constant chatter. He included Chase in everything, without pause or pretense, as though Chase had always been here.
Finn’s giggle erupted as a turret caved under the weight of its ambition. “Uh-oh, better fix it.” He handed Chase another bucket.
“Structural integrity,” Chase said with a straight-faced nod. “Very important. Don’t worry, we’ve got this.”
I let myself sink back down next to them, smiling at the small, earnest face before me.
“It’s almost done, guys.” Finn scooped more sand out of the moat. “We have to hurry before the waves get it!”
The waves. They came in, and they washed away. It was all so wonderfully, beautifully simple, and yet I couldn’t shake the fear that it wouldn’t last, that Chase would see how messy and complicated it could be and walk away. Worse, I feared the pain if Finn got attached and then lost this. I didn’t know how to protect him from it. From this fragile happiness.
Our castle was sprawling, detailed, full of little touches. An intricate and delicate thing. We decorated the towers, bridges, and walls. We laughed when it fell, and we laughed when it stood tall.
Finn took off down the beach, searching for more shells to add to his stockpile.
Chase leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “I’m having a blast.”
“Me too.” I smiled, letting myself believe it was that simple.
He tipped his head toward the castle. “I think we’re going to end up with a masterpiece, you know.”
“Of course, with you on the job. I heard you talking about structural integrity.”
“Hey, it’s important.” He pulled me close, his touch easy and familiar. “I like seeing you like this. Relaxed.”
“I like feeling like this.”
We watched Finn as he zigzagged along the shore, stopping to pick up anything that caught his eye.
“He’s a great kid,” Chase said. “You’ve done an amazing job with him.”
