Chapter Twelve
ELI
My footsteps werewooden as I walked the familiar route from my bungalow to Mom’s house, my mind full of conflicting emotions. The taste of Jules’s lips lingered, a ghost of sweetness and passion that refused to fade. Hours later, I replayed every moment of that unexpected kiss.
I sighed heavily and muttered, “It was just a kiss. A really hot, mind-blowing kiss that I absolutely can’t stop thinking about. No big deal.”
But it was a big deal. I couldn’t shake the feeling of Jules in my arms, and it scared the hell out of me. I had a feeling Jules had been pretty shaken up too, even though she quickly backpedaled. At the time, I’d agreed that we needed to forget that kiss ever happened, but now?
Now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I’d spent so long avoiding real connection, convincing myself I was happy with my unattached lifestyle. But now? After a single kiss, I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. I feltmore like a tortured teenager than a thirty-five-year-old man.
As I approached the house I’d grown up in, that all of us had, I spotted Harper on the porch, hunched over her laptop and her frown lit up by the screen.
“Hey, sis,” I called out, plastering on my best easygoing grin. “You look about as relaxed as a lobster at a seafood festival. What’s got your claws in a twist?”
Harper’s attempt at a smile quickly faded. “Hi there, Eli. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.”
I plopped down in the swing next to her, concern replacing my forced cheer. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
She sighed and closed her laptop. “It’s this whole modernization thing. We need to do it, but I can’t see how.”
Seeing Harper so stressed hit me hard. “You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?”
“I know,” she said softly. “But sometimes it feels like the weight of Sunset Siesta’s entire future is on my shoulders. I’m the manager of the resort. What if I mess it up?”
I wanted to reassure her, to say something profound yet witty that would chase away her doubts. But my own insecurities about the future, not to mention my conflicted feelings about Jules, left me fumbling for words. “Sometimes you’ve gotta take risks,” I finally offered, thinking of the way one kiss had shattered my carefully constructed façade. “Even if it’s scary. You never know what might happen.”
Harper gave me a curious look. “That’s surprisingly insightful and serious coming from you. Are you feeling okay?”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Just channeling my inner fortune cookie, sis. Don’t get used to it.”
As Harper launched into the details of the budgetforecast Jules had given her, and which certainly didn’t include the new scuba kit, the porch steps creaked with footfalls. Our oldest brother, Ben, marched up, his muscular frame silhouetted against the fading light. His green eyes, usually sharp and alert, were tired, but there was a satisfied set to his jaw.
“Look what the kitty cat dragged in,” I quipped. “How’s the big, bad world of corporate security?”
Ben grunted, dropping into a nearby chair. “Successful. Stressful. Long.”
I studied my brother, noting the tension in his shoulders despite his claimed satisfaction. “You thinking of another line of work?” I asked.
He lifted one shoulder in an uncomfortable shrug. “I don’t know. I’m grateful to Hunter for hiring me, and the work is rewarding. I like helping people. But it’s not what I want to do long term. I like being outdoors, but I don’t exactly want to do landscaping for the rest of my life, either.”
“You used to talk about becoming a paramedic,” I said as I sprawled in the swing. “Whatever happened with that?”
The change was instantaneous. Ben’s posture stiffened, his eyes darting away. “Nothing to tell. A dead end.”
Harper leaned forward, her voice gentle. “Ben, you were so passionate about that. You’d be amazing at it.”
“It was a stupid idea,” Ben replied, his words clipped. “The resort needs me here. KeyMark pays well. It’s fine.”
Ben’s walls went up, brick by brick. This was a topic I brought up from time to time, just to let him know I hadn’t forgotten about it. About his desire to make a new start as something other than Dove Key’s resident troublemaker. His insecurity was palpable, and suddenly, I saw a reflection of my own fears in his stubborn refusal to dream.
“No one’s saying you have to change everything all at once,” I said, treading carefully. “But don’t sell yourself short.”
Ben’s laugh was bitter. “Right. Because book smarts are my strong suit. I barely graduated from high school. I know my place, Eli.”
“That was a long time ago,” Harper added quietly.
