Her tears stream freely now, but she wipes them frantically. I wish she wouldn’t. I wish she could fully unveil herself to me. Crashing my lips to hers, I tasteuson her tongue and nearly crumble from the majesty of it. I’ll get lost here if I’m not careful, and that won’t serve either of us. We both need a breather, so I press my mouth to hers once more before pulling back. A shiver racks through her—either from the cool night air or the chilling reality shrouding us. I remove my suit jacket and wrap it around her shoulders, wishing I could be the sole source of warmth for her. If only she’d let me.
Cradling her jaw, I tip her chin to me, our faces so close that I can still taste the kissed air between us. “You want me to burn the world for you? I’ve got some experience with that. Let me grab the gasoline. You want to burn it yourself? I’ll buy you a solid-gold Zippo fit for royalty, gather the kindling, and carry you across the globe, cheering as you set it all ablaze. We’ll drink cherry champagne and discuss our favorite books amid the flames. Your dreams and your desires will become my only mission. I will do anything for you, Zar. Anything. Name it, and it’s yours.”
My forehead drops to hers with a final plea before I walk away. “But don’t ask me to let you go.”
AXEL
“Are you sure you’re good for tonight?” Ryker squeezes my shoulder, his face drawn with lines of distress.
All my brothers are cloaked in tuxedos and apprehension. It should probably comfort me to see how much they care, but their anxiety reads like my failure.
“This is our night. Our legacy. How could I be anything other than proud of what we’ve created? Of course I’m good.” I check the time on my watch, resisting the urge to spin my luck since it hardly seems relevant now. “We need to get started and call Rena to do our toast though.”
None of them argue with me because we are pushing it on time.
We started the Prohibition Ball seventeen years ago to cast a new vision on the La Lune Noire membership. Our entire business is built on the same exclusivity in which the 1920s speakeasies thrived, and this takes it up a notch. We plan for it all year, select a new pool of guests for each ball, strategically team them up for escape-room-esque challenges, and party untilthe sun comes up. It’s puppeteering at its finest. And an homage to our mother that her death wasn’t in vain.
Our father staked his empire on a mound of skulls, garnered by lodging a knife in the back of anyone within reach. And while our soil is enriched with plenty of bones, under our regime, it burgeons connection and prosperity.
And yet I am bankrupt in every way that matters tonight.
“I’ll cue the music,” Maddox offers with a pat on my cheek, compassion strangling his traditional smart-ass bravado. “We’re here, Papa Axe.”
I dip my chin to him as Ryker volunteers to pour the cognac, and Cash casts me a conflicted gaze before he swaggers after him.
Jax lingers behind. “I would’ve never suggested you take the position if I’d—”
I raise my palm to cut him off because his regret over asking me to take the KORT seat years ago has no place here. Neither of us could’ve anticipated this mess. And even if the time constraints weren’t in place due to their bylaws, there’s no guarantee anything would be different for Zara and me. We are who we are.
“That has little to do with what’s happening here. You didn’t start the fire.” That’s less in reference to our parents and more a nod to the essence of Billy Joel’s insight.
“You didn’t either.” He glances toward the family. “She seemed like an extinguisher.”
Someone to douse the flames.
“Tonight, we dance in the blaze.” I wrap my hand around his neck with a silent command not to let this taint our joy. “Go set up the video call with Rena.”
This is my hell—hurting and lugging that affliction around so poorly that it weighs everyone else down. Once he tromps away, I take a minute to center myself before I confront an eveningthat is traditionally my favorite night of the year. A night when the guilt about my mother’s death is assuaged because her pride about what we’ve done would be so profound.
Heelsclip-clopon the marble floor before Tessa emerges in the kitchen, donning a gorgeous black flapper gown and feathers in her silver hair. “It’s okay to break.”
“I know it is.”Lie.I don’t believe that.
But Tessa holds her own emotions close to the vest, and when Maddox was in peril, they all came tumbling out. I’d never want her to think her shattering was a sign of weakness.
She laughs in that sardonic lilt that is so veryTessa. “No, you don’t. But you didn’t raise me, I’ve never worked in an area you oversee, and I haven’t been through anything horrific—apart from you all.” She waves her hand around the penthouse, as if being in our family is synonymous with catastrophic, but her turquoise eyes rollick with mirth. “There’s no reason for you to shoulder my existence. So, if the time comes for you to fall apart and you need someone, I just want you to know that I’m here.”
Tessa is one of those people who appears to be annoyed that humans exist, but would risk everything for those she cares about. Loyal to her core.
“Thank you.” I pull her in for a hug and kiss her hair. “But not now.”
“Agreed,” she whispers. “No need tonight.”
We stroll to the family room and join my brothers and Mercy. Rena, Ty, and the three other couples that compose the rest of their family are waiting on the wall monitor as we begin our Prohibition Ball rituals. It’s too late for the babies, but I’m aching for them to visit. I’ve gone too long without having them bounce on my knee.
The first notes of “House of the Rising Sun” trill, and Zara is all I think about. I’m still not sure what tomorrow will look like. I left her alone after my impromptu proposal. That wasn’t howI’d planned to ask her, but it also seemed contrived to get down on one knee when it was in part due to my allegiance to a secret cabal.
When I returned two hours later, it was as if none of it had happened. We spent that night and the last two together—watching movies, swimming in the rooftop pool, reading to each other, and having the best sex of my life. And even though we’d been doing that, every second was enlightening.
