I’ve always shied away from relationships. Every relationship I’ve had has ended when the people wanted more than I was prepared to give.
Growing up, I witnessed the devastation a bad relationship can cause. Not just to the people in the relationship, but to everyone in the explosion zone. My siblings and I had been caught in the crossfire of our parents’ dysfunctional relationship.
But this thing with Archie started because I was guilt-ridden, and then it morphed into a fake relationship. I’ve been so focused on cracking his defenses that I’ve forgotten about my own.
Because he’s snuck his way into a place inside me where I don’t think anyone else has ever resided.
I don’t want to examine very closely how badly Archie Mansley has wormed his way into my affections because I won’t like the answer.
I want all his secrets. I want to know everything about him.
I meant what I said to him last night. He’s the most fascinating person I’ve ever met.
And I’m aware that this feeling is dangerous.
Especially since, for Archie, this is all a bit of fun. He made that clear when I tried to confess to him about Vaughn, about his accident.
He doesn’t want to know my secrets the way I want to know his.
Just as I’m thinking that, Archie wanders out in his pajamas, sleep-rumpled and hair mussed. The atmosphere in the kitchen rearranges itself around him, the way it always does. Like every room he walks into was just a room until he got there.
“Good morning,” he says.
He shuffles over to me, and I automatically stand to wrap an arm around him, kissing the side of his head.
His hair smells of pillows, sleep, and softness, and it takes everything I have to release him.
“Coffee?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I move to make him a cup with sugar and creamer, just how he likes it.
“Here.”
He takes it from me and takes a sip, then meets my gaze above the brim of the cup, giving me a small smile.
I can’t help smiling back at him.
I could argue that I’m just doing the fake-relationship thing because this is how you should greet your boyfriend. I could argue that this is still about fooling Elizabeth.
But I get the feeling that the main person I’m fooling right now is myself.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Archie
Leo’s different this morning.
As we move through the National Gallery together, he’s hovering close to me, touching me constantly.
I pretend I don’t notice, that I don’t care.
But I do notice.
And I can’t turn off that part of me that really does care.
There’s something about having a guy treat you like you’re the most precious thing in the world that sets your heart fluttering. I’m fairly sure it’s an observed phenomenon already documented by science, so I’m not unique.
