The softness is gone, replaced by that familiar spark of mischief.
This is the Archie who never lets me get too comfortable. Who pokes and prods and refuses to let a moment stay sincere for too long.
I should be exhausted. I should want quiet, peace, maybe some sleep before Elizabeth wakes up and we have to resume our performance.
Instead, I lean into it. Because this is what Archie does to me. He makes me sharper and more alive. Like I’ve been sleepwalking through conversations my whole life and he’s the first person worth waking up for.
“I’m not rating you,” I reply.
“Why not? I’d rate you.”
“I don’t want to know my rating,” I say quickly.
“Nine point five.” He grins up at me. “I had to deduct half a point for the thing with your elbow.”
“What thing with my elbow?”
“Exactly.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’m also not entirely sure that he’s not making it up just to fuck with me.
Actually, now that I think about it, I’m fairly sure he’s making it up just to fuck with me.
“So, do you rate the Destroyer a ten then, given the fact that I’m almost as good?” I ask.
“Yes. It’s a ten. But you should be flattered you came so close to it.”
“Flattered that a piece of silicone outperforms me?”
“Very high-quality silicone.” He stretches luxuriously.
“I’ll have that put on my tombstone.Leo Brennan: Almost As Good As High-Quality Silicone.”
“It’s a noble epitaph. You should be proud. Being ranked nearly as good as the Destroyer.”
“I’m going to need you to stop complimenting your sex toy while lying in my arms.”
“Jealousy isn’t attractive, Leo.”
“I’m not jealous of a dildo,” I growl.
“You know what would bump you up to a nine point six?” He props himself up on one elbow, eyes glinting.
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“Cheese.”
I blink. “Cheese.”
“Postcoital cheese. It’s very romantic. Very European.”
“It’s midnight.”
“Cheese doesn’t have a curfew.”
“You want me to get out of this bed and make you cheese,” I say, just to clarify I’m actually hearing this correctly.
“I want you to demonstrate your commitment to excellence.” He pats my chest. “A true nine point six would already be in the kitchen.”
