I am absolutely not checking him out. I’m just…observing.
I rinse the plate in my hands and set it in the rack to dry, then grab the other one. Bowen is crouched down, digging through a small toolbox on the ground, and my body sways closer to the window. If it wasn’t for my hips hitting the counter, I would have my nose pressed up to the glass.
I groan and look down. I make quick work of washing the rest of the dishes he made while cooking, then dash away from the window. The cabin is quiet without his music.
It feels even weirder being in here now than it did the other night. It feels like I’m snooping now that I know this is his place. I can only take the silence and questions I’m not sure I have the right to ask for so long before I grab a towel and bottle of water and make my way outside. A quick stop at the van to change, then I move as quickly as my sore feet will allow. Away from the temptation of making a further ass of myself with Bowen, towards the water calling my name.
Every step away from the cabin on the familiar path settles me more. My lungs fill easier, my head feels calmer. The dock creaks softly when I step onto it, and my stomach untangles. By the time my toes are on the end, and my eyes are soaking up the view of the sunlight sparkling on the surface of the water, I feel calmer than I have all morning.
Bowie?I snort. The snort turns into a chuckle, and then I’m laughing. My head tilted back to the sky. It’s either laugh or cry, and I’ve had enough tears for a while, thank you.
Brett would have beenin tears.
“Dude, you gotta share the joke.” The yell is so unexpected I snap my head over at the sound, laugh dying on my lips. Ian is a ways down the lake, closer to his side of the property. He’s in swim trunks and nothing else, feet in the water. He waves excitedly when I look over, and I wave back.
“Morning,” I manage to call back.
His smile gets impossibly bigger, flashing pearly whites. He moves quickly to stand, then jumps into the water. I watch from the end of the dock as he makes his way over to me. His blond hair is darker when it's wet, and he pushes it back off his forehead when he breaks the surface. He grips the edge of the dock, fingertips nearly touching my toes, and looks up at me with that same megawatt smile.
Ian is hot. Simple as that. I think he knows he’s hot, but he’s not the kind of hot guy that puffs his chest out and is a dick about it. I feel like Ian doesn’t have a dick bone in his body. Well…
“Hey, neighbor.” He flicks the water from his other hand at me teasingly, then pushes off the dock and swims backwards. “Come on in, man. The water’s perfect.” Ian floats on his back, arms out and smile for the sky. He’s the kind of guy the sun seems to shine differently for.
Like Brett.
I watch him for a moment before sucking in a breath and diving in.
The water isnotperfect.
I sputter in disbelief, and Ian’s laugh is coming straight from his belly.
“Liar,” I accuse, gritting my teeth and rubbing my arms.
“Yeah, it's cold as fuck from all the rain.” He laughs again, and this time I find myself laughing with him.
When our laughs fade, he quirks his head at me, a more subtle smirk instead of a radiant smile on his face.
“You look different,” he says, wading a few feet away.
I puff out another laugh, but I feel like I’m under a microscope. “Different how?”
He shrugs and looks off behind me somewhere towards the cabins.Bowen’scabins. “Got that same kinda look in your eye Bowen had when he went through his breakup. You dumped or do the dumping?”
Internally, I am immediately on my feet screaming. “When? Why? Who?”
Externally, I raise my brows and hope like hell my face is nice and easy-going. “You’re awfully direct. Maybe my fish died.”
Or my best friend died, took half my soul with him, and then I drank myself stupid and lost everything else that meant anything to me. If that’s the same look Bowen had, I need to know who broke his heart while I was away.
Ian chuckles and splashes me half-heartedly. “Nah, I know that look. You’re gay, right?”
I splash him back. “Do you have any filter at all?”
He shrugs his big shoulders again. “Not really. What's the point? We’re all here livin’ our one life whether we want to or not. Why waste time holdin’ onto shit when we could just say what we want to say, ya know?”
“Who told you I was gay?”
He squints at me with a little smile. “Dude.”
