She lifted her crimson-drenched hands and let the knife slip from her fingers. Then she leaned back, falling out of the open doorway as if in slow motion, her apparition fading but not before her mouth opened wide in a wail of rage and grief.
“What the hell?” Whit breathed.
“You saw her?” I choked, my voice little more than a rasp from my own sorrow. “You saw her too?”
His eyes were wide as he nodded. “Yeah.”
I took a step toward the open door, but Whit guided me back to the apartment door. “No, no, inside. Please, Zellie. Let’s go back inside.”
I glanced down the hallway again, torn. Part of me felt like I owed it to Alice to stand where she stood, understand what had driven her to murder her son, her unborn, herself. But as my adrenaline began to dissipate, my legs started shaking, so I nodded and let Whit help me inside.
He led me to the couch, then returned with two glasses and a crystal decanter of scotch that had been a wedding present from Junior and Pearlie. He poured each of us a drink and gulped his down then poured another.
We sat on the couch together in silence, neither of us sure what to say. Then he finally murmured, “My God.”
I ran my hands through my hair, wiped the fresh tears from my cheeks. “It’s over now, right?” I asked. “I saw what she’d wanted me to see. I saw how she died. And why. So, that’s it, don’t you think?”
He dragged his hand down, suddenly looking aged beyond his years. “Yeah. I would think so. I mean, this is really more your area of expertise. But…yeah.”
Leaving my drink untouched, I scooted closer to Whit and curled into him when he put his arm around me and pulled me close. We sat this way until the first beams of sunlight began to peek through the blinds. Only then, too exhausted and drained to stay awake any longer, did I allow myself to sink down into a dark, dreamless sleep.
Whit and I kept what had happened to ourselves. I’d seen how everyone had reacted when I first brought up that Dawes House was haunted and knew they would never take the story seriously. At best, they’d think Whit and I had overreacted to something completely explainable. At worst, they’d think we were losing our minds.
Besides, I had concerns about the present that kept my thoughts off the distant past of Dawes House. Only a few weeks earlier, I’d cried myself into exhaustion the day I put Henry on the school bus the first time and waved goodbye, excited for him and happy to see him finally living the big day he’d anticipated for so long, but my heart broke as I watched the bus drive away. A little piece of my heart tore away with it, floating after him like a leaf on the wind, chasing after him but never quite catching up, and leaving in its place a hole that seemed both small and large at once, reminding me of the stone in Henry’s favorite poem by e.e. cummings that was “as small as a world and as large as alone.”
Since then, I’d tried to keep myself busy. My job at the bookstore and my class for the fall filled up my time when I wasn’t with Whit and Henry, keeping my mind off how quiet it was without Henry running around the apartment and telling me about all the adventures he and Addie had shared. But the transition wore on me. I was exhausted, distracted. Eating made me nauseated. And when I actually couldn’t keep food down any longer, Whit insisted I see a doctor.
“What did she say?” he asked when I returned from my appointment. He was furiously trying to finish up the last of the renovations to his apartment and was splattered with paint, giving his hair a salt and pepper look that made him look even more like his father.
“I need more vitamins,” I told him.
He nodded, wiping his hands with an old rag. “Okay. That’s good. I’m sure June has something she can give you to help with that.”
“Well,” I drawled, “June already gave me something, which might actually have played a role in what’s going on.”
He went still, his back rigid. “What did she give you, Zellie?”
“It’s the special mixture of herbal supplements that’s been passed down in her family and given to new brides,” I told him. “The one she gave me the night we announced our engagement. The one meant to keep babies from leeching all the nutrients from mothers’ bodies.”
He stared at me, silent. But I could see his mind racing as he put it together. “Do you mean…?”
I laughed with pure joy. “Yes! I’m pregnant, Whit.”
His jaw tightened, and he wiped his hands with the rags again, his attention trained intently on the paint that wasn’t there. Finally, his eyes still averted, he asked, “Are you sure?”
My elation at getting the news dissipated in that instant. “This isn’t really the reaction I was hoping for. I thought you’d be happy.”
He ran a hand through his hair, then pulled me into his arms. “I’m sorry. Iamhappy. I really am, Zellie. It’s just…”
I caught the flicker of fear in his eyes. “It’s just what?”
He cupped my face in his hands. “I love you, Zellie. I love you so much. There are things I want to tell you…things you need to know. I just…I don’t want to lose you.”
I shook my head. “Lose me? What are you talking about? Whit, I’ll befine.”
“I’m sure Kitty thought that, too.”
I pulled him down to me and kissed him, then stood on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. “You’llneverlose me, Whit,” I promised, hugging him tightly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
