Chapter Three
“Mind if I join you?”
Jack’s gaze came up from the book he’d been reading during the journey from Mexico City to Chicago. He hated flying, hated it with a passion that compared to little else, so burying himself in some book or another was about the only way he could manage a trip of such duration. Well, that and an ounce or two of well-aged scotch. And, up to then, none of the others had interrupted him, knowing well the ritual he depended upon to maintain his sanity.
And yet now he found himself looking into Maddie’s sympathetic forest-green gaze and not minding the interruption at all, even though he clearly was the object of her pity. “Pardon?”
Maddie gestured toward the vacant seat next to him. “Do you mind?”
“Of course not,” he said, forcing a weak smile. As welcome as her presence would always be, having her so near was torture. And it was especially difficult at the moment, when he desperately wanted to feel her arms around him, to seek the comfort and peace he’d only ever known in her embrace.
They sat in awkward silence for a long moment before she said softly, “I’m so sorry, Jack.”
Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly before dropping his gaze to the body bag lying in the aisle of the Alliance’s private jet. They’d found Ian lying facedown in a pool of his own blood, inches away from the vehicle that would’ve taken him to safety. A few seconds sooner and he would’ve escaped the assholes who’d shot him in the back.
“Ian was a good man,” Jack told her.
“I didn’t know him very well yet,” Maddie said, her hands clasped between her knees. “Did he have any family?”
Jack shook his head. Hell, most of them didn’t. The Alliance intentionally recruited from among those with few connections to tie them down and distract them from their missions. There were a few exceptions—Luke being one of the few who’d found love and happiness and was successfully managing to balance his new family and his duty to the Alliance. The others—like Jack and Will—had family ties only because of their families’ legacy with the Alliance. Having witnessed the heartache—and tragedy—his own family had experienced, Jack would never have asked a woman to join him in this life. The risks were too great.
Which made it all the harder to have Maddie join the Alliance as the first female initiate. The thought of someday having to bringherhome in a body bag had been haunting his nightmares every night for months, tormenting him to the point of madness.
“I think you should reconsider your association with the Alliance,” he announced. “After what happened today—”
“I am a trained law enforcement agent, Jack,” Maddie reminded him. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you treating me different from any other member of your team.”
He closed the book and set it aside, taking a moment to consider his words. “I am well aware of your capabilities, Maddie. I witnessed them firsthand—as I’m sure you recall.”
She flushed, no doubt remembering the case that had reunited them briefly a few years after their initial affair, when Maddie had been a rookie agent with the FBI. Jack had been called in to assist by theirconfreresin the Bureau when the case got a little too close to the Alliance’s interests. Once again they’d been unable to resist the attraction between them. But this time it’d been Maddie who’d walked away.
“Of course I do,” she said, her voice losing its hard, angry edge, her gaze growing softer. “But . . .” She glanced around to make sure Luke was otherwise occupied and not listening in, then took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh that sounded surprisingly mournful. “I know it’s only because you care, Jack. And I appreciate that. You’re my best friend—”
Friend.The word stung like venom, her accent upon the word so slight he couldn’t even guess as to whether it was intentional or an unconscious reminder of where things stood between them.
“—but you have to let me do my job. I need the others to see me as their equal.”
Her hand covered his, her fingers pressing lightly against his skin when she squeezed. It seemed meant to be an innocent touch, a gesture of friendship. And yet his lungs went tight in an instant, as desire for her gripped him. He closed his eyes before she could see how much he wanted her, and dipped his head, hoping to compose himself.
But when he opened his eyes, he saw her peering down at their hands. Her full lips parted just enough to expel a sharp gasp when he smoothed his thumb over her skin, her lids dropping just enough to shield her eyes from him. He studied her lovely face, from her flushed cheeks to her delectable lips to the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, which he’d always found so adorable.
He leaned in toward her, bringing their heads so close together that when he whispered her name and she lifted those remarkable eyes to his, it would’ve taken nothing more than a fraction of movement from either of them to end their suffering with a kiss.
“I will try to be what you need me to be,” he murmured, “if you give me the chance.”
Maddie’s gaze held his for a long moment before she finally said, “I can’t.”
He blinked, startled by her flat denial of his offer.
His brows came together in a frown. “Sorry, what?”
“I can’t work another mission with you, Jack,” she insisted, slipping her fingers from his grasp. “Working on this op together was a mistake. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“And how exactly do you intend to do that?” he pressed. “Will isn’t going to continue to make accommodations for us because of our history. That was one of the conditions of your joining our team. And I think he’s been far more sensitive to the situation than most in his position would’ve been.”
She leaned back and stared hard at the back of the seat in front of her. “I think it might be best if I transferred to another team.”
Jack’s frown deepened. “You can’t be serious.”
