“I know it is.”
“So what do you plan to do to get the flash drive, then?”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I plan to offer her something else she wants in return.”
Maddie frowned. “What?”
Jack’s conscience made him avert his gaze. “The flash drive holds information about the Alliance and the Illuminati—but that’s not what she’s interested in. Not really.”
She slowly sat up until she was at eye level with him. “You plan to give her information on Will.”
“I know what it’s like to need answers and be frustrated at every turn,” Jack told her. “I think it’s far less harmful—to her and to the Alliance—to have her on the right track than floundering around in the dark, uncovering the truth haphazardly.”
“You have no right, Jack,” Maddie warned. “That’s for Will to deal with.”
Jack took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh before responding. “Perhaps not, but it’s my duty to protect the Alliance and act in the Order’s best interest. This has been Will’s issue to deal with for quite a while, Mads, but his unwillingness to do so has put us all in jeopardy.”
He saw disappointment in her eyes when she shook her head at his words. “So you’d risk damaging one of the most important relationships in your life?”
He casually rose to his feet and picked up the laptop, tucking the device under his arm. “Will is a brother to me. I have no doubt he will understand.”
She rose up on her knees and moved to the edge of the bed so that she was a few inches from him, and took his face in her hands. “I hope you’re right, Jack. There’s only so much damage a relationship can take before it’s beyond repair.”
He searched her gaze, sensing that she wasn’t just offering him a warning about his friendship with Will. So when she drew him down to brush her lips against his, he savored the warmth of her kiss, let it envelop him as his free arm came around her waist, pulling her closer. He couldn’t suppress a groan when her tongue lightly teased against his.
And when she sank back on the bed, pulling him with her, he tossed his laptop onto the mattress so both his hands were free to tangle in her dark curls as their kiss became more frenzied.
He groaned again when she shifted beneath him so that he was cradled between her thighs, arching into him in the process and sending a shot of need through him that was so powerful he shuddered. She felt too damned good beneath him, her curves fitting perfectly against him in a manner far too enticing.
She pulled at his shirt, untucking it to slip her hands beneath the material. Her fingertips skimmed lightly against his skin, bringing goose bumps to his flesh as he left her mouth to trail kisses along the side of her throat.
“I should go,” he murmured against her skin as he kissed his way to the valley between her breasts, contradicting his own words. Her fingers speared into his hair when his teeth grazed her hardened nipple through her T-shirt. He kissed his way back to her lips, claiming them once more until she clawed at his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside.
“Stay,” she rasped.
“Why?” he panted, moving to her other breast, feeling like a fucking moron the moment he uttered the word. Thewhywas pulsing in his dick like a homing beacon. But he wanted her to say the words, wanted her confirmation of where things were headed so that he wasn’t assuming that her desires aligned with his.
She moaned, grinding her hips against his. “I want you.”
He cupped her cheek, his gaze traveling over her face, taking in every beloved curve. “Are you sure about this?”
Unfortunately, his question seemed to flip a switch. “Damn it.” She closed her eyes and brought one hand to her eyes as she pressed the other against his chest, holding him back. “You’re right. This is a bad idea.”
His brows came together. “Sorry?”
She opened her eyes at this and allowed her hands to smooth tenderly over his bare skin, over his shoulders, across his chest. “I want you, Jack,” she told him. “MyGod, I want you. But I don’t want to just fall back into bed with you. It’s far too easy to slide into our old pattern. It’s not fair to use you just to satisfy my libido.”
He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Really? That would be such a terrible thing?”
She shook her head. “No. It would be beautiful and thrilling and amazing—just like it was before. But, ultimately, heartbreaking. At least, that’s my fear. That seems to be our track record.”
“I can’t promise you that we’d live happily ever after, Maddie,” he admitted even as he realized that’s exactly what he wanted. He could easily picture them growing old together. And never once in his life had he thought of himself as a father, but when he looked at Maddie, he could imagine a future that included the kind of happiness he’d never dared to dream of. But that washisdream. He wasn’t sure if it was hers. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to allow himself to hope for anything beyond the moment.
As difficult as it was to leave the warmth of Maddie’s arms, Jack eased off of her and pulled on his shirt. He grabbed his laptop and turned back toward the bed to see Maddie still lying on her back, the heels of her palms pressed against her eyes. It pained him to leave her, but she clearly had reservations about going further, and he knew if he stayed, they’d be right back where they’d left off. And the thought of her regretting being with him was far more painful than the raging hard-on he was sporting.
He headed toward the bedroom door but paused. “I honestly don’t know what the future holds,” he told her. “But I know I will always want you, Maddie.Always.”
At this she moved her hands away from her face and gave him a pointed look. “I want you too, Jack. Butwantingandlovingare two very different things.”
