His lips swept over hers, slowly, tentatively, asking a question she didn’t know how to answer. At least, not with words. But her body apparently was willing to shout the answer loud and clear. Her arm slid around his neck, drawing him in closer as his kiss became more certain but still so tender she felt tears stinging the corners of her eyes.
He released her pendant to wrap her tighter in his arms, and the kiss deepened, making Maddie shiver with desire when his tongue swept across the seam of her lips. But apparently mistaking her shiver for apprehension, he suddenly broke off the kiss, leaving them both panting as he pressed his forehead to hers.
“I should apologize,” he told her softly.
She shook her head. “Jack—”
“I should,” he repeated, “but I won’t. I can’t. I have never regretted anything that’s ever happened between us, Maddie. My only regret is letting it all fall apart.”
The words broke the spell over her, forcing her to set aside her wants and desires—herneeds. “I can’t do this again, Jack.”
His hold on her loosened and he pulled back to peer down at her. “Not now or not ever?”
God, how in the hell was she supposed to answer that? She loved him. There it was. The answer she’d been searching for. She had to be honest with herself, had to listen to what her heart was telling her. Loved him with an intensity that defied time and distance and left a hollow ache in the center of her chest when she lay awake at night wishing for his arms around her.
But if she told him that now, what would it get them? Additional heartache. She’d made a choice to join the Alliance. And although romantic attachments certainly weren’t forbidden, they were discouraged as a distraction that the Templars should avoid if they were to focus on their mission. And if there was one thing she’d come to realize, it was that Jack was nothing if not distracting.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. Her fingertips skimmed the line of his jaw, her heart skipping a beat when his dark lashes lowered at her touch. “I want to.My God, I want to. But every time we find ourselves here, one of us ends up with a broken heart to show for it.”
He covered her hand with his and turned his face into her palm, pressing a kiss to her skin. Then he sighed and lifted his lids to capture her gaze once more. “Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know that I could do it again without doing irreparable damage to this battered heart of mine. But I won’t push. And I won’t kiss you again until you ask me to.”
As if to make good on his word, he took a step back and held his arms up to his sides, gesturing vaguely toward the table. “I’m sorry if my rare moment of wistful romanticism was too forward and made you uncomfortable.” He laid his hand on his chest and offered a slight bow. “My heartfelt apologies.”
Great. Now she reallywasthe biggest bitch on the planet. Who shuns a romantic gesture—especially when there’s chocolate and champagne involved, for crying out loud? Had she really grown that jaded that she couldn’t just accept a little kindness, a little affection from a man she truly loved with all her heart?
Maddie reached out and took his hand. “C’mon,” she said, jerking her head toward the table and offering him a smile. “Turns out a little wistful romanticism from an old friend is just what I was looking for today.”
He pulled out a chair for her and bent as if to press a kiss to the side of her neck, which had been his habit when they were lovers, just a little brush of his lips against her skin as if he couldn’t help himself. When he pulled back, true to his word not to kiss her again until she asked, she tried not to let her disappointment show and instead reached for the bottle of champagne.
