That stills him in a different way. One not visible to anyone who doesn’t know how to look.
But I see it.
“At the Amato house,” I say. “He looked at me and I knew he remembered. He saw me at Gabriel’s house during a meeting. And I knew if he told Maksim—”
“You were dead anyway.”
“Yes.” The word comes out thin.
“So you ran.”
“I tried.”
His eyes narrow slightly.
“But you brought the ledgers here.”
I nod.
“Yes.”
“Why not straight to Gabriel?”
“Because I wasn’t trying to save Gabriel.” The words leave me before I can soften them. “I was trying to get out before everything collapsed.”
Vaska watches me for a long second before he continues. “But Gabriel was waiting.”
My throat tightens.
“Yes.”
The room goes quiet again except for the hum of the refrigerator and my own heartbeat scraping too loud in my ears.
Vaska reaches for fresh gauze.
“What changed?” he asks.
I frown.
His eyes flick up.
“You were sent to use me. You ended up in Maksim’s bed. Somewhere in the middle of that, the objective changed foryou.” His voice stays level. “What changed?”
That question is worse than the others.
Because this is the one that has no answer I can survive saying out loud.
I look away. My fingers tighten against my thigh.
“I don’t know.”
It’s a lie. A weak one. Vaska knows it I can tell by the silence.
Then he says, calm as ever, “That’s not true.”
Something hot presses behind my eyes.
I hate that too. “I said I don’t know.”
