“She said that about you?”
“Oh yeah.”
“When did she say that?”
“Way too many times. First time was back when we were here years ago. I told ’em I was goin’ back to the Central Cities with you, worried they’d be upset. They weren’t. They expected it. When I asked why, my mom said something like, well, of course you’re goin’ with her. That’s what you do when you’re totally besotted.”
I’m snickering and blushing both. I turn around to look at him directly, leaning against the sink counter. “And what did you say?”
He steps over and takes both my hands, stretching his head down to give me a light kiss. “I said it wasn’t like that. I actually believed it wasn’t back then.”
“When did that change?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t really know. Sometime in the past seven and a half years. First I thought you were amazin’ and I wanted to be part of this fight. Then I tried to convince myself you were just my best friend. Then Istarted to resent every other man who ever got your attention. Then I stopped wantin’ to fuck anyone else, anyone but you. Then ’bout a year ago I finally admitted the truth to myself. I’ve loved you all along. And if I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else.”
I’m not a swooner, and I never will be. But at this moment I can understand the temptation to swoon. I smile up at him. “It kind of was like that for me too.”
“Except I got there first.” He gives me another quick kiss.
“Yes. You got there first.”
30
Ben’s parentshave a comfortable house on a big piece of land on the outskirts of a town called Halbrook in the wilderness. It’s a pleasant, well-established town in a rural region. Ben told me his parents originally built a smaller house and then kept adding onto the structure as they needed more room.
I like the motley look of it, recognizing each part they added on over the years. There’s a wide front porch with rocking chairs and a pointy-nosed black-and-white dog who jumps up excitedly when we approach from the guest cottage.
Ben laughs as he leans over to pet the dog when she runs over for a greeting. “I just saw you a little while ago, girl. No need for the exuberant greeting.”
“Don’t listen to him, Duchess,” I tell the dog, pettingher in turn. “We all need someone in our lives as happy to see us as you are.”
Duchess pants joyfully and nods her head toward the house. Then she tries to herd us up the porch steps and to the front door.
The main door is open, and only the clear porch door is closed. No one in the Central Cities would dream of leaving their doors unlocked even for a few minutes.
Despite everything that’s told to citizens to make them afraid to cross borders, life is a lot safer and more secure here in the wilderness.
Part of me would like to stay. Surrender the fight and make a peaceful life here.
But that’s not the main part of me. The deepest part.
I’m not giving up the fight.
Maybe Ben senses what I’m thinking, or maybe he’s still washed with warm satisfaction from our sex earlier. Whatever the reason, he takes my hands as we walk through a big, cozy living room toward the kitchen and dining area in the back of the house.
“Dad got called out because someone’s vehicle stalled on the road,” Ben says. “But he’ll be back soon, I’m sure.”
Ben’s father used to work as a mechanic and still goes to help when someone radios for help with their vehicles. He’s over seventy. Almost no one gets that old in the Central Cities, but things are different here in the wilderness.
“He’s on his way back now.” The cheerful voice is fromhis mother, who is leaning over to check something in the oven. “Good morning, Annabelle. Did you sleep well?”
“I slept great,” I tell her with a smile. It smells delicious, like baking, and I sniff the air appreciatively. “Thank you. I haven’t slept this well in years.”
“Well, you need it.” Layne is quite a bit younger than her husband—maybe early sixties. But her heart-shaped face and wide blue eyes are still startlingly pretty, and her white hair is pulled into two long braids. “You could sleep for weeks and probably still not catch up on your rest after all you’ve gone through.”
“I actually feel pretty good now, and hopefully my endurance will return soon.” I’ve taken a bench at the kitchen table, and Ben slides onto it beside me. “I feel bad if you’ve been up for hours working and I’ve been sleeping late in bed.”
“It’s not that late. And when you’re my age, you might have trouble sleeping late too. I’ve got apple and oatmeal muffins baking. They’ll be done soon. Would you like some juice or milk?”
