“For what?” He’s leaning against the trunk of a thick tree, his legs stretched out in front of him.
I’m sitting across from him. I nudge one of his big boots with my shoe. “What do you think? For helping me.”
He still looks a little confused. “What else would I do?”
“Um, the other choice would benotto help me.”
“Do you think there’s the slightest chance the day will come when I’m not here to help when you need it?”
His question is casually spoken, as if there’s no doubt of the answer in his mind.
But it strikes me hard. I stare at him. My lips part slightly. “I… I don’t know. There’s no reason you have to always be here. I mean, I know you’re as committed to this cause as I am, but we might not be fighting for it forever. Maybe you’ll want to go off and find your own life afterward.”
“What kind of nonsense is that?”
“W-what do you mean?”
“I mean what I say. Are you actually asking me?” He’s not laid-back and casual anymore. He sounds offended. Almost hurt. “You think I’m gonna leave you eventually, no matter what happens?”
“I… I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’ll never abandon me when I need it. But… I mean…” I have absolutely no idea what to say.
“Annabelle, hear this right now.” He leans forward. Catches and holds my gaze. “I’m not only committed to this fight. I’m committed toyou. So unless the day comes when you wanna kick me out the door, I’m gonna be standing exactly where I’ve always been—at your right hand.” His mouth quirks up, breaking the intensity. “And even if you try to kick me out, I’m makin’ no promise I’ll actually go.”
I spill into rippling laughter, relieved at the escape the humor provides from emotional tension. “Thank you. I know I don’t tell you enough, but I hope you know I feel it. I’d never have been able to do any of this without you. But I do want to say, while we’re on the subject, that there’s no obligation. Not from me. So if you ever get… get tired of doing what I do…” When he starts to object, I talk over him. “Just let me say this. If you ever get tired or want something different or decide it’s time to go home to your people in the wilderness and start a little family of your own, far away from the Central Cities, I’ll understand. I’ll never stand in your way. I want you to be happy, whatever that looks like.”
I can’t believe I’ve said all that. It’s not like me. At all. I’ve always been blunt and direct about everything except emotions.
But I don’t regret saying it as I see it process on his face.
Then he surprises me. He reaches out to gently pull me toward him so I’m on my knees between his legs. He lifts his hands to cup my face and peers down to me. “You gettin’ scared?”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared that things are changin’ between us. Gettin’ deep. You lookin’ to run?”
I lick my lips. My heart is racing at a gallop. “I’m not looking to run. I just… I just wanted to say that.”
“Okay. I heard you. And I can see you mean it. If we’re tellin’ the truth, I’d rather hear you say I’m stuck with you forever and you’ll be mowin’ down anyone who tries to get between us, but I can see that you’re tryin’ to be good to me.”
“I am. I mean, I was. I don’t want to be selfish. Just because I need you so much.”
His expression and his shoulders relax. “Okay. I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do.” His hands slide down so they’re spanningmy neck. “But don’t expect me to reciprocate. I don’t care if you tell me to go away. I don’t care if you wanna leave me behind for good. I’ll be following in your wake like a hungry puppy till you take me back.”
A small laugh escapes. Then another. Then I’m laughing helplessly and still laughing when he pulls my head down to kiss me.
At the first touch of his lips, all my jumbled feelings are channeled and honed down into only one thought. One need.
To have Ben. Completely. As close as I can get.
Because I’m on my knees, I’m higher than him. His head is tilted up toward me, and I’m leaning down to reach him. It’s an intoxicating shift of our normal positions, and pleasure spirals up in my heart and down into my pussy in response.
“Fuck, baby, you’re gonna burn me alive with this fire,” he mumbles when he finally pulls his mouth away to press little kisses all over my face. He’s slid one hand down to cup the curve of my ass under the short skirt of my dress.
“I don’t mean to burn you.” I’m fumbling with the buttons of his flannel shirt, trying to get it off him. It’s in the way, and I desperately need to touch his bare skin.
