“A Craving,” I said.
He snatched the bowl from me and started shaking it. “Y’all got roaches in the mother fucking fridge too?” He asked as he began inspecting the food.
“What? No, it’s raisins.” I said as I looked down at the potato salad.
“You put raisins in your potato salad?” He frowned.
“It’s my first time making it this way.”
“My babies aren’t going to like that shit.”
“They will, that’s why I’m craving it,” I said as I ate a spoonful.
Unfortunately, Cane was right because as fast as I devoured it, I threw it back up. He held my curls away from my face as I threw up my last three meals. Even when my stomach was empty, I was still gagging. I felt so damn weak, I could barely get off the bathroom floor.
Cane helped me to my feet, then helped me brush my teeth and wash my face. Then he carried me to my bed. He lay beside me, tucking my body into his as he rubbed my belly. “When are you moving out of here?” He asked. “I know you can afford it because I gave you over $100,000.”
“I know.”
“So, what’s holding you back? Do I need to be your CNA and realtor now?”
“No. You do enough.” I said. “I know I need to move, but I also know I can’t take my mother with me. I’m not really ready to leave her, and I’m not ready to live alone.”
“You won’t be alone for long,” he said. “Plus, I’ll be there as often as I can.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Ok, I’ll start looking tomorrow.” I yawned.
“Ight,” he said as he buried his face in my neck. “You know I’ve never been this close to pussy without being inside it.”
“First time for everything,” I said as I snuggled closer to him. My anemic ass was in love with how warm he was. He felt better than Project Heat. After a while, we both fell asleep, and it was just our heavy breathing filling the room.
Chapter 11
“Wake up,” Cane said as he tapped my thigh. “Come take a ride with me.”
“What time is it?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes.
“Almost five am.” He said as he grabbed my Crocs and put them on. “Now come on.” He said as he took my hand and led me out of my apartment.
-
I could smell the beach before we got there. Memories of Seashells poking my toes and saltwater flooding my mouth came to mind. Simpler times, I thought. “Why here?” I asked. It was early September, but the weather felt closer to fall than summer.
“To clear my mind and to watch the sunrise.”
“Ok,” I said.
Warm sand sifted through my toes as we walked under the waves of the sky. I could feel the crumbs of the beach against his fingers as he held my hand. We started toward the harsh waves that ran shallow against the wet sand. It was chilly, but bearable.
“Come here," Cane said as he pulled me onto the sand. “It’s cold,” I mumbled through my trembling lips. He pulled me from the sand and sat me on his lap. He tried to rub some warmth into my arms while I shivered.
For a moment, I wondered about him, about us. Would we be making a mistake if we tried for something more, or would it make us a family?
“Where’s your mind at?” He asked. “You’re not with me right now,” he said.
